Applying to summer internships is not for the faint of heart. We’ve all hopelessly scrolled through LinkedIn, cried tailoring our cover letters to match different applications, added our old bosses as references, and clicked the box for “DO NOT CONTACT.” It’s a common experience for college students in late winter.
I was having one of these moments on a dark and stormy night last week. The wind rattled my windows and my computer screen was bright in the dim light of my apartment. I was scrolling, just about to give up, when I saw it. Like a golden ticket from Willy Wonka there it was, my dream summer internship.
It was close to home, the perfect intersection of all of my academic and career interests, a glorious 20 dollars an hour, and the term was late June to September. It was the Goldilocks of jobs, not too boring, not too involved, but just right. As I scrolled through the required skills, my hopes soared. Not only was this job perfect for me, I was perfect for the job.
And then, at the bottom of the list of requirements, I saw it. My heart dropped into my stomach.
“Research Skills.”
Research skills? What are research skills? I had seen them on other job postings, and my friends’ LinkedIn pages. But what exactly are they? Do I have them? A quick Google search left me with this page from the University of Galway, which defines research skills as “the ability to search for, locate, extract, organize, evaluate and use or present information that is relevant to a particular topic.”
That definition sounded familiar, a little too familiar. A cartoon lightbulb appeared over my head. It reminded me of something we’ve all done, of scrolling through a crush’s Spotify or searching through tagged photos. I can search for, locate, extract, organize, and evaluate someone’s Instagram! I can use or present information from my research that is relevant to my love life!
The skills used to scour the internet for relevant academic sources are the same ones we use for Instagram stalking. Following leads and making connections between sources is the same as looking through someone’s followers. Looking through internet archives is the same as looking through someone’s mom’s public Facebook profile. Being a social media detective is a research skill!
And if Instagram stalking qualifies as research skills (which it totally does), I’m kind of an expert. I’ve found someone’s Instagram from a LinkedIn connection and calculated a snap score or two in my lifetime. Instagram stalking is a skill — a valuable one — and it can easily translate into actual research positions. Finding the minute details about someones personal life is done in a historical context all the time. Research requires and values the tips and tricks that internet sleuthing teaches.
People (mostly men) tend to think that Instagram stalking is weird, but to that point, I ask you to think about phone books. In the 80s and 90s, people could look up your contact information with just your name. And before the actual Facebook, Harvard dorms had “facebooks” where you could see exactly who lived there (thank you, Social Network for that tidbit). If we’re being honest, Instagram stalking is less invasive than that stuff by miles!
With Instagram, you can curate your feed. You can choose exactly how you are being presented online and you have the choice to make your account public or private. If you don’t want people finding your Instagram, delete it! Social media was built to connect with people online. If a girl is using that to evaluate whether or not she wants to date you, mind your business!
It’s my personal hypothesis that men like to complain about Instagram stalking because they can’t do it. Their man thumbs are too big for the Instagram search bar and they could never have the strength and resolve to look through 600 profile pictures for a face seen only in passing. Jealousy is the thief of joy, boys!
The expansive portfolio of research skills that social media has taught us will put us at the frontlines of forthcoming academic research. Instagram investigators are the future. Watch out world, the next Steve Jobs has seen your LinkedIn. A woman could patent the first practical telephone, but Alexander Graham Bell could never find a man’s Spotify username (9 times out of 10 it’s the same as their Instagram username). Albert Einstein has nothing on a girl with a phone.
Look, I may have raised a few red flags or gotten my name put on a government watchlist with this article. But I am nothing if not a champion for women in academia! I hope that after reading this inspiring story, you pop “Research Skills” in the “Skills” sections of your resume and LinkedIn. They deserve to be there.
(For all future legal and hiring purposes, this article is satirical…mostly).