Is It Possible To Be A Feminist And A Tradwife?

Tradwives have stirred up quite a stir online. Influencers like Ballerina Farm and Nara Smith have popularized the way of life on platforms like TikTok and have gained massive fan bases from their content. Of course, like any other large platform, both creators have their fair share of critics as well. The main reason it appears that people have disdain for tradwife content and the influencers posting it is due to its historical background. The main role of a tradwife historically has been to primarily serve your husband whether that is keeping the household clean or preparing all of the meals for the both of you as he solely makes the household income. You can see where this is looked down upon.

However, in today’s world, influencers like Ballerina Farm and Nara Smith have played into the aesthetic, yet they do not face the vulnerability of being financially dependent on their husband as tradwives historically had. Because today’s “tradwives” are somewhat changing their role, does that mean it is a role that can be supported by feminists? Feminists will always be in pursuit of dismantling systems that uphold the patriarchy, and traditionally tradwives would be a perfect example of those systems. Even though Nara Smith and Ballerina Farm are tradwives with a little more financial security than historically tradwives have had, there are still many tradwives that fulfill the role in the more traditional sense. 

Again, a tradwife, short for traditional wife, is essentially a woman who has devoted her life to homemaking. The controversy surrounding the tradwife is not their draw to cooking, cleaning, and other household maintenance. Tradwives tend to be women who have gotten married and started families usually at the age they would be in college. Right off the bat, it is hard to understand how women who aspire to have this “traditional” life are being perceived negatively by feminists. Many feminists believe that these women can possibly end up trapped in a life with no escape if the marriage goes south. In other words, if the husband in these relationships one day decides to leave, their estranged wife will be left with no money, no work experience, and no education.

I believe when feminists express their fears for tradwives, it comes from a good place but can sometimes appear extremely harsh. Tradwives have often been referred to as “losers” and “dumb.” I can’t help but think that this cannot be productive in the goal that feminists against tradwife culture are trying to accomplish. I do not think that tradwives can be shamed out of being one. Personally, my ears would turn off if someone was purely coming from a place of judgment to assess how I have chosen to live my life. It should be accepted that not every woman is drawn to having a traditional 9 to 5 or working in corporate America. I just think that feminists do not want this life to be chosen in sacrifice of an education or workforce experience in case one day tradwives want something different and feel their options are limited and they have no choice but to stay in a marriage that no longer suits them.

Because the main goal of feminism is to live in a world where men do not hold more power than women as they historically have, I would have to say that the current typical circumstances that tradwives find themselves in, those being the sacrifice of education and working experience, directly contradict with feminist ideals. In my opinion, as a tradwife because you risk ending up in a situation where your husband can hold his income over your head to take advantage of you or trap you in an abusive or no longer desired relationship, power imbalances still exist and cannot be supported by feminism. 

I don’t think that tradwives and what they desire out of life can never be supported by feminists, I just think it needs to be given a little bit of a makeover. As all women historically have faced extreme adversity, it is important that feminism continues fighting for women to have fair and equal opportunities in the working world. But feminism does not mean only supporting women who have goals for a certain career. There are many women whose version of success looks like being a mom, raising a family, and having a happy household. Some women want just one of those things, both of those things, neither of those things, or that and so much more out of life. It’s still important to not box women into one category or another.

Women can enjoy homemaking and also strive to make their own income. Women can seek an education and also get married young. Part of the issue with tradwife culture is that it often portrays these categories as mutually exclusive. While tradwives have historically relied solely on their husbands’ income, some women today are examples of changing this expectation. If more women lean into this trend, being a “tradwife” could be supported by feminism one day. But for now, I don’t think women can ever feel 100% safe in a marriage where their financial security could be stripped from them at any moment which maintains a world where men continue to hold more power and therefore could not be supported by today’s feminists.