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How #RelationshipGoals Might Be Affecting Your Love Life and What to Do About It

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCSB chapter.

By now, I’m sure we’ve all seen the images of John Legend removing Chrissy Teigen’s jewelry after a drunken evening at the Grammys. As if this celeb-duo wasn’t cute enough already, they became the epitome of #relationshipgoals after this post-award show fiasco. 

But Teigen responded with a slightly thought provoking tweet:

Fans of the couple idolized Legend’s loving act as this amazing feat, yet it is nothing more than a caring husband looking after his wife the way he should, which explain’s Teigen’s blunt response. Her tweet speaks volumes about the overwhelming influence that social media holds over relationships today. We’ve become obsessed with the idea of what a perfect relationship should consist of or what it should look like that we forget reality isn’t as neat as a trendy hashtag on Instagram. Below are a few ways #relationshipgoals might be affecting your love life and what you can do about it:  

1. Making comparisons: It’s often said that social media posts are someone else’s highlight reel. It’s easy to take these lovey dovey images riddled with hashtags at face value and question why your relationship isn’t meeting these expectations. The next time you’re scrolling through the gram, keep in mind that these picture-perfect visuals don’t show the arguments, disagreements and challenges that every couple is bound to endure. Not every couple is happy 24/7 and that’s not a bad thing. Struggles will make you and your bae stronger — now that’s actual #relationshipgoals.

2. Romanticizing your relationship: Romanticizing goes hand in hand with comparing. In this case, you’re likely thinking about how amazing your relationship could be instead of realizing how wonderful it already is. While looking for ways to improve your relationship is always encouraged, altering it to fit an ideal is another story. Communicate with your partner if you see room for growth in your relationship, but remember to strive for real, not perfect. 

3. Seeking others’ approval: #relationshipgoals might cause more harm than good if it causes you to look to others to applaud your relationship. Posting pictures of you with bae and then having all your friends favorite, retweet or like your posts can be a major ego boost (duh, you guys are cute af). However, if you’re only showing them off because you want to maintain your #relationshipgoals status, it might be a good idea to limit how frequently you post a couple picture. This way when you decide to plaster your and bae’s face all over your friends’ feeds, it’s because you know how lucky you are to be together, not because you need others to validate that. 

Naomi is a fourth-year, English major and Multimedia Writing minor at UCSB. She is originally from the LA area, but aspires to someday make it in New York as a web content writer. Cats, green tea and British accents are slight obsessions of hers.
Kristine is a 3rd year Chemistry major at UC Santa Barbara. She was born and raised in San Francisco, CA. When she's not writing, she works with her sister to create adorable baked delicacies for The Royal Icing, their at-home bakery. She's also a ballerina, lipstick enthusiast, and bunny lover. Post-graduation, she plans on going to graduate school while continuing her writing career. Catch her on instagram @CookiesForKay