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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

How to Make Long Distance Work When You and Your SO are Chasing Your Own Dreams

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCSB chapter.

Relationships can be tough, especially if you have hundreds of miles between you and your significant other. You go from psychically being with them every day to seeing them on the screen of your phone. It’s a major change that many couples struggle adjusting to, but who can blame them! We all enjoy the company of our special loved one, and being away from them can lead to withdrawals.

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However, the truth is everyone has dreams they want to achieve and sometimes that means moving away from your loved ones. But don’t think of this as the road to end your relationship with them. In fact, people in long-distance relationships have the potential to flourish and grow the most when certain steps are taken by both partners.

It simply begins with communication. Before moving away, you and your partner should sit down and effectively talk about how you both feel. Once the emotional part is out of the way it’s time to get serious and create what I like to call “a relationship plan.” It might seem a little awkward or difficult at first to communicate, but keep pushing through those conversations until there is compromise and understanding. For instance, this is where visiting days can be planned or talking about your individual schedules can help couples understand how busy their significant other might be. It’s more so you and your partner can have some structure while being apart. So you don’t feel so lost throughout the relationship. Get creative with planning!

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Another major component for keeping your long distance relationship strong is to have both trust and respect for your partner. Right now is a time where many of us are trying to find ourselves and work towards a bright future. With this being said, support one another! Tell your partner how proud of them you are and respect the path that they choose to follow. But most importantly, respect the space and time that you both have away from each other and cherish the moments when you are together.

I know it may seem hard at first moving away from your significant other and the thoughts of cutting ties seem to be the easier solution at times. But don’t allow such negativity to stop something that can be so beautiful in the end. If two people really want to make a relationship work, flourish, and grow, then allow for communication, trust, and respect to help guide you both. Be patient with your partner and remember that sometimes it’s healthy for both partners to be away from each other. It creates room for individual growth!

Karen is a first year at UCSB, pursuing a B.S in Psychological Brain Sciences. She is originally from Los Angeles and enjoys trying new food, taking adventures and taking pictures!