There comes a point in every long term relationship where you realize the butterflies have faded and the nervous anticipation of seeing your S.O. has morphed into a subtle comfort. You no longer freak out about what to wear when you’re going on a date with them, or worry about saying the wrong thing that might turn them off. You become familiar with their habits and quirks, and confidently roll your eyes when they joke about being “vegan now,” which you hate. You look to one another with ease, and everything is calm.
The flame that initially lit the candle has dimmed to a warm glow, but that doesn’t mean there’s any less passion there. There is so much beauty in the comfort.
Where this shift happens is different for every relationship. It may take a few weeks or a few months. Maybe it was after the first time they met your parents. Or maybe it was the day you were starving after work and they ordered you a pizza. Or maybe there was no specific moment or time or day that it happened, and it just all faded together seamlessly. But I believe that once you are comfortable enough with your S.O. that the thought of seeing them puts you at ease instead of making you nervous, that’s how you know you’re really in love.
Gif via Wiki
You still enjoy going out and getting dressed up on occasion, don’t get me wrong. But suddenly the idea of lounging in sweatpants with your S.O. is the thing you truly look forward to on a daily basis. There is no longer a need to impress one-another, you’re content just spending time together.
And you may worry from time to time that if there’s no more butterflies, there’s not much there. But that isn’t the case. There doesn’t have to be constant over-the-top excitement in a relationship to mean that it’s a healthy one. What’s needed is a balance. A tranquil force to calm the waters when the tide rises.
There is so much to be appreciated after your relationship changes. You have created a bond with a person as a friend, a confidant. A person that would rather spend time doing nothing with you than anything else. A person you can be yourself around, no reservations. You may not always click, but you are there for each other when it matters. That is what makes your long term relationship one worth keeping. Not the amount of butterflies you feel or don’t feel, but what you offer to one another.
So if you have reached that sweatpants stage, be proud. Something is going right.