Girls Can Make the First Move… Duh..

Dating culture is filled with stigmas that have been perpetuated by romcoms and the patriarchy. No guy is going to throw rocks at your bedroom window with a stereo thrust upon his shoulder, blasting Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” at full volume. Most likely, he is going to ask for your Snapchat and proceed by sending ambiguous emojis and unsolicited ab pictures, leaving you confused. 

For many reasons, a man will not make the first move, even if that is what is expected. It could be a case of the shy-boy jitters or a deathly fear of rejection. And let's be real, we are all terrified of shooting our shot and getting rejected. But, if you are somewhat intrigued by a guy and want to get to know him more, just go for it. Who says that women cannot make the first move? If your answer is “that is just the way it is,” I am here to tell you that it is not valid.  

To prove that our pre-disposed ideas about girls making the first move are not rooted in anything but poorly constructed social norms, I took to some research to find out how men I knew felt about the topic. And, the consensus was quite promising. It turns out some men feel it shows a great amount of confidence when a woman is the first to say, “Hey I think you are kind of cute.”

For a true representative sample, I began by interviewing the most controversial of the male species: a frat boy. "I'm personally a huge fan. It displays confidence in the girl, and being someone who is incapable of picking up on hints I always appreciate it" he said with a laugh. The truth is, you do not know what someone else is thinking until you ask them. A lack of moves might just be his inability to keep up with signs that you are flirting. So even if he is into you, he might not be catching your drift until you tell him. 

 wifflegif.comImage via Wiffle Gif

“I feel like women do just rely on men too much to make the first move” my male friend, and the second interviewee, explained. Therefore, by making the first move you are taking the pressure off of him to do so. Many guys expect to be the one putting their pride on the line to get your number or ask you out. It is refreshing for any woman to take the reins, especially in a world guided by gender norms. Being the first to make moves would catch any guy off-guard and that might just make you stand-out in the right way.

Just put it into perspective. In the absolute worst-case scenario, you will be thrown into the dreaded friendzone. And in the best case, he falls in love with you instantly, abandoning his life to elope with you to Bora Bora and get married on a white sandy beach. But as my friend explained, “When girls make the first move, chances are they’re almost never going to miss their shot.” And although “never” might be an overstatement, more often than not, you are reading the situation correctly and just need to go with your gut feeling. So, the next time you think that guy sitting at the table next to you or in line in front of you is cute, take that leap! You never know what might come of it!