For a lot of people, coming to college is a profoundly lonely experience.
It’s the first time you’re without your parents, the friends you’ve (probably) grown up with, and you’re in a new place with a new home and a new schedule, surrounded by new people.I’ve talked to a lot of people who say that their first year sucked, that they had no friends and considered dropping out or skipping lectures on a regular basis.
Despite its size and reputation for being a “social party school,” UCSB is a hard place to make friends–especially if you don’t fall into the Greek Life or going-out-every-weekend crowd.
I was lucky enough to start out with friends in my small CCS cohort, as well as a few from back home. But then I joined the staff of a club I was in. And of another one. And that’s how I filled the hole from my home.
I joined Gaucho Gaming — the video game club staff — the summer before my freshman year, coming on as an Events Team intern. It’s been a year since then, and I’m now the Events Team Lead.
As a club, we put on events that target the gaming body on campus, trying to think of fun ways to create community and camaraderie amongst a group of people that are already, typically, more introverted. We also have game nights on our Discord, and use that online space for finding people to queue into games with.
There’s a lot of fun to be had as the member of a club, an attendee to the events that they put on. It’s great to join clubs that way. But being on the staff of a club is a whole other thing — and, in my opinion, far more valuable.
Being on staff with someone, you’re forced to see them. It’s your responsibility to go to staff meetings, as well as most of the general meetings, and you have to work together to make these successful. Additionally, hosting an event with someone requires a lot of communication about timing, set-up/clean-up, and, more often than not, you’re all going to end the event hungry — does anyone want to grab some dinner in IV?
It’s especially bonding when your commitments run at ungodly hours. Twice a year, Gaucho Gaming hosts our big Game-A-Thon, an all-day event in Corwin Pavilion that operates like a convention. Staff is required to be on-site at 7 AM, and clean-up often ends around 11 PM. It’s safe to say that if I didn’t feel bonded to my club peers before, the 6:45 AM coffee run definitely fixed that.
I went into Gaucho Gaming not knowing anyone and not feeling bonded at all because I was a nervous freshman who wanted to make friends but was totally scared of upperclassmen.
But now, I talk to these people every day, about completely non-club-related stuff, both in-person and online. Our staff studies together most nights, games together afterwards, and gets dinner together following our weekly staff meeting, just because.
And because of this club, I joined the Marginalized Genders in Gaming staff, another gaming club whose goal is to create an intentional space for marginalized genders and allies to engage over gaming-related fun. Boom — more friends!
There are 550 registered campus organizations here at UCSB. At least one of those has to have a topic that piques your interest, or is at least good for an application.
I see so many little gaggles of people that I think are a friend group, laughing and talking about their personal dramas and hanging off of each other, only to realize that they’re tabling for a club or student organization.
I’m sure that no matter what the topic is, forced proximity to a group of people in your age range, who are all there because of a shared passion, practically guarantees at least a few friends. Perhaps it will even help you find your “place” on campus.