Sunday mornings are nice if you wake up next to a lover, maybe somewhere in the countryside, where the sun shines bright through cotton curtains, and the beads of sweat on his shoulder smell like sweet dew drops.
But you wake up next to the bro in your chemistry lecture on a top bunk in a fraternity house, where the room marks all the relics of a crazy night and the sun peeks in through dusty shades.
One night stands.
They happen to the best of us. And lucky for us, science has some explanations as to how this phenomenon occurs.
There is a hook-up gene.
That’s right. You can’t just blame it on the al-al-al-al-alcohol. Justin Garcia, a human sexual behavior researcher at State University of New York at Bingham, proposes that a gene called DRD4 may correlate with a person’s, (to use a Freudian term), heightened libido.
You can check out the study here.
DRD4 affects the levels of dopamine in the brain and has been associated with “risk-taking” behaviors such as partying and participating in casual sex. According to the study, people with the DRD4 gene had “greater categorical rate of promiscuous sexual behavior (i.e., having ever had a ‘one-night stand’) and a more than 50 percent increase in instances of sexual infidelity.”
There aren’t just beer goggles. There are hook-up goggles, too!
He says you’re the most beautiful girl in the world, but science says that he’s probably full of sh*t. You heard me. This might be difficult to believe, considering that media often portrays really beautiful women being seduced into bed by really basic-looking dudes, but the opposite is actually true. Women tend to up their standards when it comes to one-night stands, and men lower theirs.
According to Anne Campbell, a psychologist at Durham University in England, the flattery that men tell women to get them into bed are downright empty.
Campbell says, “What women don’t seem to see is that men drop their standards massively for a one-night stand. No woman should be flattered because a man wants to have sex with her once.”
Women produce more Oxytocin than men.
Oxytocin, aka the “cuddle hormone,” is released during sex and is known to bring down our defenses. It also produces empathy and bonding.
Oxycotin is released regardless of whether you’re having sex with a lover or a one-night stand and it’s more common in women than in men. The main hormone that’s released in men during orgasm is not the cuddle hormone, but dopamine (aka the pleasure hormone). This can probably explain why you’ve fallen head-over-heels, and he’s fallen out of touch.
Casual sex is really good for your health, IF you like casual sex.
In social science vernacular there is a term to describe those who are interested in casual sex: sociosexuality. These people don’t buy into the stigma against one-night stands.
A study was done in which 371 college students were surveyed about their sexual behavior and psychological well-being over a course of nine months. By the end of the study, 42 percent of people reported having had sex outside of a monogamous relationship.
The researchers found that “sociosexually unrestricted individuals (i.e., those highly oriented toward casual sex) reported lower distress and higher thriving following casual sex, suggesting that high sociosexuality may buffer against any potentially harmful consequences of casual sex and allow access to its potential benefits.”
Well then, if you so wish, let your freak flag fly.
It’s all about your mental state.
Before you embark into the murky waters of one-night stands, ask yourself if you’re doing this for the right or wrong reasons. Did you just get out of a very long relationship? Then maybe you should stick with a girls’ night than a night in a stranger’s arms.
However, if you find yourself in a happy, positive place and you’re engaging in a hook-up because you think it’s fun, then you go girl. Just be aware of how you might feel afterwards, because often times negative feelings about one-night stands aren’t immediate and can creep up on you overtime. I don’t mean to sound bleak, but it can be a cruel world out there for a G. Make sure you always use protection with a stranger, and if he asks you how you like your eggs in the morning, you can reply, “unfertilized.”