Your two favorite gourmet chefs have returned, this time slightly straying from our traditional Italian-themed dishes to a taste of the Far East.
We are much older than we appear. Long ago, our ancient Chinese brethren shared a secret with us so coveted that it took us 1500 years to decrypt. The information was delivered to us by sea, carved in coded Sanskrit only visible through a microscope. First, we had to wait for the microscope to be invented, and the rest of the centuries were spent painstakingly deciphering the words; the tablet turned out to be a word scramble. At last we have completed the translation and it is our honor to share with you now Orange Chicken and Fried Rice.
Ingredients:
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1 bag Trader Joe’s Mandarin Orange Chicken–the original combination of tangy citrus with the classic boldness of freshly frozen poultry is reminiscent of an exhilerated ride on Apollo’s mighty chariot, the sun on your back, wind in your face, and mind-numbing fear of heights in the pit of your stomach..
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1 bag Trader Joe’s vegetable fried rice, bursting with the latest harvest of peas and carrots similar to those grown by the evil witch lady in Rapunzel
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2 tablespoons olive oil, silky and smooth as a newborn baboon’s backside on the first full moon of spring
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Trader Joe’s low sodium soy sauce (optional)
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The iron concentration of an Acharya (leader of an order of monks)
Directions:
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Flip the bag of orange chicken over and read the preparation guidelines. Follow them.
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Do the same for the bag of vegetable fried rice
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Distribute on to dishes side by side, and add soy sauce as desired
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Set your Pandora station to Oriental Lounge
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Dim lights
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Light one single jasmine-scented candle
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Serve and enjoy
Serves 3-4, but can also serve 1, don’t be ashamed.