I think we all know what it means to be the “cool” girl, as we’d all really like to be her… because she doesn’t have any emotions. The “cool” girl persona pertains to being both attractive and down to earth. She is completely okay with a casual relationship, because she doesn’t want anything serious either. She’ll sleep with him, she’ll hang out with, and she won’t even mind it if she doesn’t get a text back from him for multiple days because she completely understands the terms which come with being “casual”. What a dream.
While I’m certain there might be at least one girl who actually feels this way, I think that for the most part, the “cool” girl is a complete facade made up to appease guys. When she acts like she completely doesn’t care if he texts her or not, she is actually anxiously awaiting a single message on her phone with his name on it. When he comes by to chill with her, she secretly wonders if he’s seeing other people too.
According to basic science, women are built differently than men. We have higher levels of chemicals (estrogen, progesterone ext.) which makes us want to bond with the person we sleep with. If a woman is having consistent sex with someone, she’s bound to catch feelings if she didn’t have them in the first place. But why do we feel the need to continue playing it cool? Maybe we’re afraid of showing too much vulnerability, or maybe we’re afraid of scaring them off by revealing our “crazy” feelings.
The problem with playing it cool, is that causes guys to think that you actually don’t care, therefore there is no reason they should think it is not okay to sleep with other person. They know that they are not obligated to text you, because you won’t care. While it seems like this nonchalant attitude will make him like you because you’re so much cooler than other girls, he’s probably actually more likely to fall for someone who is being honest with him.
In my personal opinion, I think we girls should stop with the facade, and instead we should lay our true thoughts and feelings out on the table. Sure, it might scare the guy off, but it’s probably a good thing to lose someone on a thread that thin. By letting him know that it bothers you when he doesn’t respond to your texts, or it bothers you that he doesn’t give you enough attention or even that you would like to be exclusive, you are just letting him know that you like real, human feelings. If you happen to be an incognito “cool” girl that is on some guy’s hook, lose the facade, and be yourself!