Being the oldest of my siblings, I didn’t have a big sister to get college advice from. Sure, I have other family members who went to college and have helped me out a lot, but they are from different generations when the experience was a bit different.
Currently, one of my sisters is in the final stages of the college decision process, which means that I have to think about all the advice I wish I had gotten before I set off to UCSB. Knowing how much this information would have helped, and that there are many others without older siblings to help guide them, I want to share some of my best advice with you too.
I want to preface all of this by saying that this advice is based on and reflective of my personal experiences, which will likely be different from yours! So take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and adapt as needed. You’ve got this!
Friends
Going from high school to college is a huge jump. In high school, you’re likely only on campus with a couple thousand other kids at most, and chances are you have grown up alongside many of them. College, however, is overflowing with thousands upon thousands of individuals who may be from places you’ve never even heard of.
This huge difference in the amount and type of people you are surrounded by can make socializing a daunting task. When I was getting ready to leave for college, one of my biggest sources of anxiety was how I would fare socially.
Luckily, we live in the age of social media, which can be a very valuable tool in building relationships. I met both my freshman-year roommate and my current best friend through Instagram DMs, and those have turned out to be wonderful friendships.
Another fun trick I discovered is to get to know my friends’ friends! After all, if I really like someone, there are pretty good odds that I will like the people they like, too. I have formed some of my closest relationships by reaching out to someone I met through a mutual friend and asking if they wanted to spend some time together one–on–one.
Academics
I don’t know about you, but all throughout my primary and secondary education, college was emphasized as tremendously difficult and everything my teachers were doing was preparation.
Let me tell you, this is simply not true. Yes, college is undoubtedly challenging, just given the depth in which you explore topics and the rigorous pace things move. However, any good instructor wants you to succeed.
It is important to utilize the resources available to you: go to office hours, ask for extensions when you need them, and participate in discussion sections to help advance your understanding of the material.
Also, while academics are obviously very important (they are, after all, the reason you’re at college!), you should also make sure you are not sacrificing your health and well–being for an A on an assignment. College is going to be challenging, but it should also be enjoyable.
Balance
Academics will be demanding, but there is so much more to the college experience. For one, this is the first time that most of us are experiencing life away from home. We are newly independent, and the stress of acclimating to life on our own can be daunting.
The biggest thing that helped me take a step back and reassess how I was balancing all of my responsibilities was, unfortunately, overexerting myself to the point of misery. I was trying to do everything: get good grades, make new friends, be in a long–distance relationship… everything.
I felt all this pressure for college to be the best four years of my life, and when it wasn’t shaping up to be so, I was devastated. But then I thought about it, and I realized that I don’t need college to be the best four years of my life. I have so much life left to live, and if none of it can ever be as good as it was at nineteen years old, then that would be pretty unfortunate.
Obviously, I want my college experience to be as exciting and memorable as possible, which is why I make an active effort to try new things, visit new places, and meet new people as much as possible. But I also make sure to acknowledge that there are going to be some challenges and setbacks. Knowing that things do go wrong sometimes helps me be prepared for when they do, and being prepared makes them easier to deal with.
Essentially when it comes to balance, I have come to realize that all facets of college life are important, from academics to friends to health to rest, and everything in between. Thus, I need to give myself enough time to nurture each of them and thereby get as much out of my four years in college as possible.
***
A couple of years ago, I wished I had a big sister who was able to give me guidance during my college experience. Unfortunately, it was up to me to learn everything for myself. It hasn’t always been easy, and my learning about life is by no means over, but I do think I have already discovered some very valuable lessons. I hope that in sharing them with you, you feel better equipped to take on college life, whether you have a big sister to go to or not.