Love is in the air! I’ve always understood Valentine’s Day to be dedicated to demonstrating appreciation and adoration for the important people in my life. I love the concept of a day where you show extra recognition in the form of actions, a card, or a gift to a partner, friends, or family. As a self-declared lover girl, I’ve always been very fond of the day and will take any excuse to wear all pink and admire the holiday decorations all around me. However, I’ve found myself with a new agenda this holiday season. I plan on celebrating the most special person in my life: me!
Finding the path to self-love has been a long journey that is far from over, yet Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to acknowledge how far I’ve come. With time, I’ve learned that recognizing there is truly no other me is pivotal in understanding how special each person is. I am the only one who has my collection of thoughts, experiences, interests, and more. The uniqueness of my own identity is special! It can’t be replaced, and neither can I.
After I put that in perspective, it’s undeniable that I deserved to be cherished. Luckily, I can do that cherishing on my own. External validation isn’t necessary in loving myself, it never was. Despite the continuous echoes I hear from society to find a person, a relationship, or be in some odd version of one (looking at you, situationships), I don’t need it. Companionship is comforting in any capacity, yet, I am enough for myself no matter what.
I can affirm my strengths without hearing it from anyone else. If I trust my judgment in various situations throughout my daily life, wouldn’t I be the best person to understand how funny, kind, and intelligent I am? I will proudly go against the idea that celebrating what makes you special is selfish because there’s nothing self-centered about loving yourself. I deserve it as much as anyone else. Fortunately, as the person who knows me the best, I’m already well-equipped to show myself love in the kindest and most genuine of ways.
I know it can be hard sometimes to put it into practice, though. It seems as if I’m surrounded by a need for comparison and doubt surrounding my sense of fulfillment every time I go online. It’s difficult to keep self-love at bay when I have so much exposure to how amazing others are too. And with that exposure, it sometimes feels inevitable that my perception of my worth is tied to how I perceive others.
But that doesn’t have to be the case. I think it all ties back to remembering how unique everyone is. The light from someone else’s success, strengths, or fortunes doesn’t diminish my light. One star doesn’t light up the night sky. There are thousands of them to look up at and those are just the ones we can see!
Even so, self-love has oftentimes been easier said than done in my life. Seeing how bright and unique my own light is can be difficult, especially when I’ve always just been me. I’ve become so familiar with my traits and strengths that unless I think about it, it’s easy to forget how great I am.
One way I’ll be getting that practice in on Valentine’s Day is something I like to do quite often. After putting on the comfiest clothes and playing my favorite playlist, I sit down, open my journal, and write a love letter to myself.
It sounds a bit silly, but I always get into the groove of it. I address it to my favorite person (it’s me!) and write out everything I love about her. Whether this be the little quirks, the hardships she persisted through, or how intelligent she is, I write it all down. I let this go on for however long and then sign it off. Once everything is written down, it makes positive thoughts running through my head turn into something much more tangible. The words on the page become a conversation, one of introspection, gratitude, and appreciation.
Not only am I the sender, but the receiver of this love letter. I always read it over afterward and simply take it all in. I am everything written down on this paper. I am the strength depicted as she proceeds forward through life, I am the one who tells the jokes that make her laugh, and I am the one who she admires for her wonderful mind. I am the person she loves, and I love her.
I think it’s important to recognize that self-love is still very intimidating to me. Even with internal affirmations and writing myself love letters. I think it takes a lot of effort to divert from a mindset where I rely on external validation and comparison, but it’s worth it. I am a whole human being, one that is inherently complete and whose existence is fascinating enough to shine on its own.
With that in mind, the people in my life are, of course, incredible. There is no doubt that I will be showering them with love on the 14th as well. Nonetheless, I believe the most meaningful and lasting love is the one I cultivate within myself. Every small step towards that is a remarkable one. Hopefully, you can also take the time to show yourself some love this Valentine’s Day. Don’t forget to treat yourself, too — a sweet treat is a need in my self-love rulebook!