What do you mean we’re the same distance from 2020 as we are from 2030?
COVID-19 put a 15-year-old in a 20-year-old woman’s body. Perpetually stuck in my freshman year of high school, yet I’m currently in my sophomore year of college. I’ve always felt like COVID-19 stunted my growth into adulthood. But for now, follow me as I try to reflect and see if I’ve changed since 2020.
How Do I dress now?
My goodness, I beg that you please put the Bermuda shorts that were much too tight for your thighs down! I’ve also figured out bangs do a better job at hiding our abnormally large foreheads rather than flat-brimmed baseball caps.
The dresses and skirts you refused to even look at have snuck their way into our closet. They grow on you as you grow older.
Also, you owe Mom money. The bet you made with her with your life savings — of what was probably 20 bucks — in which you said we would never wear makeup has fortunately fallen short. I wish you had put that money into buying makeup products because now I’m a lost cause at deciphering the cosmetic-wearing process.
The craziest of it all: you get excited for socks at Christmas.
am i still a perfectionist?
4.0’s are a thing of the past, little one. Homework is now worth 1% of your grade and serves no cushion for your exams that are worth nearly your entire grade. One mistake and you’re playing catch-up. Even then, I care less for my grades now than I used to.
No longer buried in books and homework, our nose has ventured out to really smell the roses. I’d like to think that I’ve found a healthier balance between studying and allocating time to have fun.
We spend adequate amounts of time talking with our computer for guidance; it’s named ChatGPT, and the professors aren’t supposed to know that we’re pretty well acquainted (for academic reasons, this is a joke). I’m also worried it’s going to take my job in the future, but that’s an issue for Siena-5-more-years-down-the-line.
Needless to say, we’re no longer perfectionists. In fact, we’ve transitioned into another “p” noun: procrastinator. Yeah, I’ve got a pretty bad case of it. Last quarter, I turned in a midterm paper that was due at 11:59 p.m. worth 30% of my grade at 11:58 p.m. We got an A in the class, no sweat (I was very stressed and sweated a lot).
Do you know how to talk to guys now?
No.
What are you working toward now?
I am no longer a girl in STEM. The life you imagined as a radiologist is no longer. Not to say that the three years of biology you took was a complete waste of time… but at least we know how the digestive system works.
I miss the objectivity of STEM, but I have decided to lead an academic life with no definitive answers (yet we’re somehow graded on it). I have placed our future in a convoluted job market threatened by AI and might be living with Mom and Dad for longer than they’d like.
Well, hopefully not. But you’ve taken a greater interest in journalism and are currently deciding between politics and sports. They are two greatly different subjects, but there’s lots of passion within them either way.
Are you happy?
I’d like to think so.
We used to base our happiness on unattainable things — stuff that was out of our control.
My current definition of happiness defines it as a process. I’m enjoying life for what it is and for the things that I do have control over. Surrounded by people we love, working toward something that we’re passionate about, and independently living on our own is a privilege that I continue to enjoy waking up each day to.
So, yes, I would say that we are happy.
I love complaining to my friends that I was robbed of my full high school experience, sure that it stunted my growth as a person. But while it’s nostalgic to look back and laugh, I don’t think I want to live in the past anymore.
I will turn 20 years old this year. One blink and I will soon no longer be a teenager. Asking myself these questions has been a great way to look back and see just how much has changed since 2020.
I recommend that you take a moment to reflect on questions like these and see how much has changed for you over the past five years. You might be surprised by what’s different and what has stayed the same.