Every year, when February 14th rolls around, couples feel the need to make their significant other feel more special than ever. However, as someone in a relationship, I strive to make my boyfriend feel special everyday, and he does the same for me.
I don’t reserve Valentine’s Day as the only day to remind him of how special he is. As difficult as relationships can be, there is something to celebrate everyday that you are together. Whether it’s working through an argument or congratulating your significant other for accomplishing something new. If my boyfriend were to only make me feel special on Valentine’s Day, I would feel unappreciated every other day of the year. Putting in the work in a relationship is a daily thing, not an annual thing. My boyfriend and I buy each other little presents at least once a week to show we care about each other. My favorite fruit is watermelon, so my boyfriend surprises me with me some, and while it might seem small and insignificant, it’s those specific gifts that show me he cares. I would rather have watermelon than flowers because it shows he actually knows what I like.
Valentine’s Day has also become a superficial day that makes couples feel like they have to do something amazing. Last year, I spent three weeks making a book about our relationship and sewing it by hand because I felt the need to give my boyfriend something impressive. Although it felt good to give him something that came from the heart, Valentine’s Day presents usually require people to buy something outrageously expensive. For college students, that can go downhill very quickly. Spending so much time on that present also helped me realize that I don’t put in the work for other things every other day of the year, which helped change my attitude towards the relationship. I decided to do special things for my boyfriend everyday. Whether it was helping him try to find his car keys for two hours even when I was tired or buying him things that reminded me of him. I once got in an uber at 12 am to see him after being apart for 10 weeks.
I personally feel that once you get to a specific point in your relationship, it’s not about how big and extravagant the presents are about, but the quality of everything you are doing. Are you having an expensive romantic dinner while Instagraming it and texting all night, or are you having a regular dinner where you spend the entire night actually talking to your significant othe? We try to make every moment special and worthwhile because life can get busy, and it can be difficult finding time for each other. But if we put in the work, we can make two hours feel like the best two hours of our lives together. As long as you are happy with your significant other and appreciating every moment you have together, Valentine’s Day shouldn’t make a big difference. It’s just another day in the many that you have to appreciate one another.
It’s not just the fact that you can celebrate and show love every other day of the year, but Valentine’s Day puts on a lot of pressure on guys specifically. Valentine’s Day is a day that expects women to be the ones being taken care of and doing nothing, which is not fair for either party. Not only does it make it seem like women are unable to do something special for a significant other, but it also makes it seem like we expect to get expensive presents. Women do not need men to buy us expensive gifts. Our signifiant others should not have to feel like they have to spend thousands of dollars to make us happy. It’s an overly commercialized holiday.
It’s not fun to pay attention to the day that pressures couples into going above and beyond. It’s better to have smaller special moments every single day for a lifetime of memories instead of one per year. Don’t get caught up on the materialism and the commercially constructed holiday. Use the day as an opportunity to do something fun.