Why Summer Flings Are Deeply Flawed

Summer is often seen as a time to relax and focus on yourself. One popular activity many young people like to take part in is to have a summer fling. The idea is to find someone who will agree with you that the relationship you undertake with that person will be within the confines of the summer season. After summer, you go your separate ways and each of you speaks to your friends about having had a brief love affair. I personally find summer flings to have many faults.


It is said a summer fling is fun, gives us another romantic experience and that a short-lived thing can be as beautiful as a sunset. I understand the importance of experience, but gaining experience makes the fling sound more like a video game, where one supposedly builds up one’s dating experience to finally reach a level that allows one to actually have a long-lasting loving relationship. Treating someone else as only a temporary fix, even if agreed upon, is not anything close to a relationship. It’s more like a three-month hook-up. 

Another argument for a summer fling is it allows us to explore options we would never explore when looking for a “real” relationship. That also sounds like a three-month hook-up, or is it that we are merely “settling” for someone for the summer? It makes the relationship a place-holder for something romantic when one is not ready to actually commit to a relationship, or is afraid to commit to a relationship. 

Instead of taking up a summer fling when coming into the summer as a single person, maybe approach the summer being fine with life as a single person, or date casually or not at all. Hooking up may be fine if you are comfortable with that, and maybe, if you are going on vacation, you may meet a cutie far from home. Life is funny that way, as we know. However, let’s not put a summer fling into a different category than a hook-up. The most important thing, though, is to make sure you are being honest with yourself and with the people you are seeing casually. Also, do not be afraid to fall in love, either. Summer feels so quick and it is scary to commit to things with school around the corner. If you find love, don’t view it as something with an expiration date, but rather a challenge worth taking to continue a valued relationship with someone which happened to begin during your time off. 


If you wish to live out a summer fling, make sure to have boundaries with that person and rules that are established before feelings complicate the relationship. You know how you feel, but you don’t really know how the other person feels and neither of you knows how you’ll feel as summer ends. For that reason, the best advice may be to use your time off from school to look within yourself and figure out why you even think you need a summer fling.  Maybe it is better to learn whether you are ready for a relationship, starting with that all so important relationship with yourself.