I submitted my final project with a sigh of relief. Winter Quarter was over, I was finally free! Yet, once I pushed my laptop aside, I couldn’t think of a single thing I wanted to do. My roommate agreed with me: now that we were officially on Spring Break, all of our favorite time-wasting activities had lost their appeal. It was as if, without the illicit appeal of procrastination, wasting time went from a privilege to a chore.
When I can’t relax, it’s usually because I feel pressure to be productive. The day before a final exam, I know that watching Love is Blind is not as productive as reviewing class material. But when I’m on break from school, the lines between relaxation and productivity get a little more blurry. A lot of people seem to believe our free time is best spent on “self-improvement,” which is typically just code for journaling and getting in shape. With these expectations in my head, I start to stress over all of these missed opportunities for my own “growth.” Should I be journaling or meditating? Running five miles or learning a new language? Following that YouTuber’s “relaxing” morning routine that starts with a 5 am workout?
For me, there is no true definition of what is and is not productive, and sometimes doing nothing at all can be more restful than any Instagram-approved wellness ritual.
Everybody from self-help authors to Rise-And-Grind YouTubers seems to give out the same advice, but their rhetoric feeds into a stressful mindset that prioritizes some vague sense of “productivity” over our actual human needs. Meditative yoga is still a workout and reflective journaling is still writing. Though these activities can be restorative in moderation, they can also be a source of stress if you are simply ticking them off a productivity checklist rather than pursuing them for your own enjoyment. We shouldn’t feel ashamed if we’d rather watch a movie than read a book, because the value of an activity is not dictated by some angry intellectual authority or condescending lifestyle influencer. For me, there is no true definition of what is and is not productive, and sometimes doing nothing at all can be more restful than any Instagram-approved wellness ritual.
When I grant myself permission to do nothing, I find I can actually pursue new interests without falling into shame or guilt over “wasting time.”
Though I can logically grasp that my life should not revolve around productivity, it is still difficult to shake off my anxiety when I want to relax. Apart from a clinical diagnosis and prescription, the best advice I have is to allow yourself to exist without expectations. When I grant myself permission to do nothing, I find I can pursue new interests without falling into shame or guilt over “wasting time.” This means that I can actually enjoy simple pastimes like art and music because I am experiencing them in the moment instead of focusing on imaginary and intimidating long-term goals.
So if you are struggling to relax, even when you have time away from school and responsibilities, I recommend that you let go of any pressure you feel to achieve. This is easier said than done, and it definitely can feel uncomfortable at first. But more than any sort of productivity goal, learning how to enjoy your own free time without stress or guilt is essential to living a happy and fulfilling life.