What Is Wrong With Modern Day Flirting & Casual Dating

Many can agree that there is something seriously wrong with flirting nowadays. It seems like even a simple thing causes way too much drama and there is too much pressure on it. Somehow, society has created more factors in flirting rather than just the simple equation of girl and boy seem interested in each other. Unfortunately, even harmless flirting has caused many people to overthink. Does he/she like me? Does he/she want to sleep with me? Does he/she want to go on a date with me? And lastly, what should I do? How should I act? It is true flirting can lead to multiple options: going on a date, exchanging numbers, going home with the person, or just nothing. Today, more and more people tend to focus on the meaning behind flirting and overanalyze a quick conversation.

There are definitely external factors that affect the dynamic of flirting. These factors are mainly linked to social media and the manner of how people text. The “game” between people interested in each other has been played for years. Yet, now this game is played through social media. For example, “He took four hours to open and reply to my Snapchat, so I am going to wait five hours” or “She sent me an emoji. This is a really good sign." We tend to mimic the patterns of those we are talking to. Some say they enjoy playing the game and seeming unattainable, while others play this game so they can protect their feelings. Even if a conversation occurs after harmless flirting, people overthink it. They send screenshots of texts to their friends and constantly ask the opinions of others. This not only creates a lot of pressure, but also adds more external factors. For some, they don’t even prefer the meaningless flirting, because they assume it will all lead straight to bed. This is most definitely not always the case. On the other hand, most people think a small compliment means there is going to be high expectations for the night, and once again this is not always how it goes. Also, another factor is that girls and boys flirt differently. Girls tend to flirt more with their actions. For example, the delicate hand placement on the shoulder or arm or moving their legs closer to the one they are interested in. Guys flirt more with their words. Their words and desires are rather direct (most of the time).

Overall, not every situation is the same. This is an extremely generalized point of view. In reality, generic advice cannot be applied to every situation that includes flirting or casual dating. Yet, my advice is to not put too much worry or pressure on things that are meant to be fun and lighthearted. Focus on what is around you rather than the little meaning behind certain words or trying to decode a text. Focusing so much on technology in your love life may mentally limit you because you believe everything needs to be a certain way and reach a certain standard, when in reality that is not the case at all.