What To Look For When Deciding To Go On A Second Date

First dates are not easy. It can be scary opening yourself up to another person, awkwardly navigating a new potential relationship and trying to figure out if someone else likes you as much as you like them. However, no matter how nervous you are, first dates are nothing compared to being stuck on a bad second date. First dates are meant to be test runs for both people involved. You still have time to “swipe left” before anyone gets hurt. But, going on a second date with someone already tells that person that you are intrigued, like what you saw and are interested in knowing more about them. Ultimately, if you do not like this person, a second date can be just as awkward as the first and prove to be a waste of everybody’s time and effort. So, before adventuring on this second date, you have to know what to look for in a first date before deciding to go on a second.

One of the biggest things to look for on a first date is how your date interacts with other people. This does not just mean how they interact with you. Look at how they treat waiters, drivers, someone who accidentally bumps into them, someone who opens the door for them. Interactions with others beyond our own personal bubbles is a great way to assess people. If your date is rude to a service worker or a stranger, they may be self-involved, inconsiderate or possess a superiority complex. They may find that their own time and well-being more important than others’. 

Another important thing to look for is where you date’s phone is. Is it in their hand the whole time, on the table buzzing away or under their thumbs being beat like a drum? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you may not want to reconsider a second date. If someone is attached to their phone while on a date, that shows a disconnect with reality. Rather than living in the moment with you, they choose to connect with millions of virtual others. This shows disrespect towards, and is a sign that their priorities are not where they should be.  

How your date deals with awkward moments is also very telling. Awkward or unexpected moments is when people are most vulnerable and that is where they may show their true colors. When stuck in an awkward moment, they may laugh or try to make a joke. Although this is not a bad thing, it might elicit different reactions in everyone. Some people may take this to show that their date is too light-hearted and that they use their humor as a crutch instead of being open. Personally, I find this endearing, fresh and I look for this in a date. Other dates may be very level-headed, calm and collected when things become awkward. This may mean that they are a leader and a protector. They may not like getting outside their comfort zone, but they put a lot of effort and time into you and the things they love. There is also the date that may look to you when awkward things happen and freeze up. Personally, I think this is a bad sign. This means they are dependent and may need to find themselves a bit more before they find a relationship. Then, you might have a date with a temper or rudeness in an awkward situation. That is bad. No second date for them. Too toxic.

The most important thing to look for in a first date is how the other person makes you feel. Could you have talked longer than the date? Are you exhausted? Are you excited? Did they make you feel heard? Are you attracted to them? You can be having an amazing time with someone and you can see them as your best friend, but it may have not been the best date. If you are not attracted to that person, you can go ahead and try again on the second date, but do not force anything. They might feel the same way and you could at least gain a great person in your life, romantic or not. 

Dates are an adventure and a game of one person reading another. Even if you feel like they have already got you figured out, trust me when I say they do not. And this is okay on a first date! Even on a second! But, it is always helpful to get a few things out of the way by looking for a few important signs on the first date.

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