*Names have been omitted for privacy reasons.*
Questions about love and successful relationships often bubble up in my thoughts as I look at the endless numbers of happy couples in the world around me. Having had my fair share of less-than-notable relationships, I can’t help but wonder what the hidden secrets are to finding “the one” and making a true love connection last. After hearing valuable thoughts on the matter from trusted family and friends, I endeavored to make a compilation of the best love and relationship advice in order to help others entering the dating and marriage era of their lives. I hope you find some thoughtful advice within these words of wisdom, and I challenge all readers to ask themselves the same question as they go through them: What is the best relationship advice you have ever received?
One person shared about the dangers of comparison, warning not to compare your relationship with other people’s relationships. There is no set timeline by which you have to do things with your S.O. (i.e. moving in together, getting engaged and married or starting a family), so ignore what you see on the streets and on social media — other couples usually flaunt how “happy” they are, but you never really know what goes on behind closed doors. Determine your boundaries, go at your pace and do what feels right — when it feels right.
Next, an old school friend shared that in any healthy relationship you have to remember that it’s not always going to be 50/50. Some days your S.O. will only be able to give 30%, so you must buckle down and put forth 70%. And in return, when you’re having a rough day and not able to give your all, they will meet you where you’re at without questions, without hesitation. There will be days where making your relationship work proves much more challenging than others, but we all know the famous verse, “Love is patient, love is kind.” You both must make sacrifices because love is about supporting one another through hard days and choosing love over impatience at others’ shows of vulnerability.
By far the most popular answer shared amongst students, family and friends: Communication is key. Whether about something as small as the way you like to hold hands, or as big as the future family, career and lifestyle you see for yourself, you must communicate. Countless relationships have fallen victim to the misunderstandings caused by a lack of dialogue between partners. We are often afraid to voice our concerns because we don’t want to disrupt the peace, but if you truly want to have a healthy, successful relationship then you need to speak up. If you are truly meant to be together then a comment of the largest proportions would not even phase them slightly, trust your partner and trust yourself.
A fellow UCLA student and friend stressed the importance of knowing one another’s five love languages and adjusting them as you grow in love together. Also important, remember to grow. Accept change and love every single version of your relationship and yourselves.
Mashing together tidbits of advice from several of my immediate family members, the general message they imparted to me was to marry your best friend! It’s important to love your significant other, but it’s even more important that you enjoy spending time with them, too. If you don’t feel like you are living a fairytale then you definitely are not with your soulmate. Don’t settle for less than a real-life Cinderella story or (grossly cheesy) Hallmark Christmas movie type of love.
A wise family friend shared that you have to love yourself first before you can love someone else — you shouldn’t need another person to feel complete. We cannot be expected to give someone else the love they deserve if we are already depriving ourselves of that very love we need to be happy. Check in with yourself before you hit the dating market by asking these essential questions: Are you happy with where you are at in life? Do you love yourself? Can you realistically commit to wholly loving and caring for another person?
In closing, I fully acknowledge that everyone has a different experience with love, heartbreak, marriage, trust and relationships, but that does not mean that advice on these matters should be disregarded completely out of skepticism or doubt. Relationships can be tricky, but they can also be the greatest part of who you are, so find the secrets, tips and tricks that work best for your love life and make your romantic dreams come true! Every last person on this earth deserves to find their true love and live out their happily ever after. Do not be discouraged by failures of the past when even princesses have to kiss a few frogs before finding their prince.