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Sex + Relationships

What Being in College Has Taught Me About The Hookup Culture

It is no surprise that college can be messy and complicated in every single aspect, including the concept of hooking up with people. Hookup culture is a product of college stereotypes and individual experience. Such a culture began with the concept of having physical experience and basing one’s sex life on society’s timeline. When is the right time to get into a serious relationship? When should I lose my virginity? How do I act if someone wants to hook up at a party? Such questions circle around everyone’s mind constantly when high school is coming to an end and college is the next big chapter. Many people may feel insecure if they had no love or sexual experience in high school, thus forcing themselves or being coerced to partake in hookup culture for the sole reason to not be left behind. Others who do have experience tend to be more laid back and hookup with others if it's genuinely what they want to do. In other words, experience is not a pressure for them. Additionally, the stigmas attached to Greek life and just college parties in general also contribute to hook up culture. Every Thursday, Friday or Saturday night, there is talk or thought of potentially having a one night stand with someone from a party. This culture creates mixed emotions for every teenager and young adult in college. Some believe it takes away from chances of potentially building a loving and stable relationship with someone, while others solely consider the fact that they are young and now is the perfect time to experiment and have fun.

Neither of these opinions are wrong. It simply depends on the type of person you are. For example, I have two friends who are very different in how they handle their love life, yet have the same perspective about it. One is completely confident in herself and very secure as a person. She knows boys are attracted to her and her communication skills are superb when it comes to guys. She decided to become "friends with benefits" with a guy and it worked out for her. Feelings were not caught, communication between them was always clear and they still remain friends to this day. On the other hand, my other friend has self-esteem issues and insecurities. She also got involved with a "friends with benefits" type of relationship as well, even though she has been hurt by it in the past. Unfortunately, she made the same mistake. How people handle hookup culture truly depends on their values, how strong they are and what they believe in. If you know yourself and make yourself a priority, then hookup culture may be the perfect thing for you and that is more than fine. If you are one to get attached easily, then there is no need to find a man to fill a void. If anything work on yourself and learn to love yourself first. If you don’t truly love yourself, then no form of relationship will ever work out.

For those who want a meaningful relationship, be patient. There is truth behind the fact that good things come to those that wait. Also, keep in mind about how a relationship might start. It does not have to begin in a fairytale-like manner; it actually may arise from a quick make-out session at a party. The most important thing to remember is to keep yourself and your values a priority. There is no need to change for any man or conform to his needs, because your needs are just as essential and should matter to you more. Hookup culture may seem to take away from the romance aspect of an actual relationship, but in reality when the time is right and you meet the right person, hookup culture does not become a prevalent thing in your life anymore. If anything, a majority of people immersed in the culture may just become jealous of what you have!


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