I get it. After a year and a half of coordinating virtual game nights, FaceTime calls in different time zones, and Zoom icebreaker activities, our collective social skills have all but atrophied. Now that we’re (mostly) back on campus, it can seem daunting to be in the throes of in-person socialization again. However, it also presents an opportunity to make more genuine connections. Here are five tips for making friends in college:
- embrace the awkward small talk.
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I know it’s the worst, but it’s inevitable. You may lose track of how many times people ask you what your major is or where you’re from, but these neutral-ground conversation starters can get you more familiar with the person you’re talking to and eventually pave the way to discovering common interests.
- Have an open mind.
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It’s natural to retreat into our comfort zones, especially when it comes to making friends and choosing who to interact with. However, as cliche as it is, college is the time to meet people that have different backgrounds and perspectives than you. On a campus of 40,000 students, your next best friend could be someone whose hometown is across the world from yours. Lean into it.
- Actually participate in clubs.
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In my experience, student organizations on campus are the most organic way to make friends. Go to meetings, participate in socials, and get to know fellow members. Don’t know how to strike up a conversation? Easy, just talk about what brought you all out to that particular club. There is already an established hobby or interest you share, so use that to your advantage and let the bonding commence.
- walk the fine line.
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Any solid friendship takes time to cultivate, meaning everyone involved needs to put in effort to keep it going. When you meet someone that you vibe with, spend time maintaining that connection and see where it goes. However, not every budding friendship works out. Instead of forcing it, know when to step back and free up your time to spend with people you fit with better. You will constantly be meeting new faces, and that can mean your best mates in one quarter won’t stick for the next; this is totally okay. Trust the process and the right people will come around.
- practice makes perfect.
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It may feel uncomfortable or unnatural at first, but the only way for it not to feel that way is to keep doing it. Compliment the girl sitting next to you in lecture, or offer someone help in discussion sections. Talk to the people around you as you wait in the absurdly long line for BPlate. Go to the football games with your peers and predict whether or not we’ll choke in the second half. You should know that when you put yourself out there, there will be people who don’t match your energy, but it’s worth it for the ones that do.
Socializing has never been easy, both before COVID-19 and now when things are returning to normal. It’s scary to be the one to initiate the conversation, but it’s important to remember that everyone is trying to make friends. That classmate you want to talk to will probably appreciate you making the first move because it means they did not have to. We’re all here to build community and support one another, so be bold and find your people.