My favorite place in the world is the third place. No, not a bronze medal podium just short of a silver or gold medal win. A third place. My third place.Â
Coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg, a third place is a setting where a person spends their time between their first place, home, and their second place, work. Think Central Perk in Friends or Luke’s in Gilmore Girls. A third place fills the voids between the fast-paced demands of life. It is a hub of spontaneous community and connection.
I think the best types of community form where you least expect them. Community is in the waft of familiar sweetness, in chatter just audible above the whir of blenders and the hum of the espresso machine. It is in the local strip of restaurants and the hair salon around the block. Third places slip between the folds of daily routine; they are the foundation of impromptu meetups and unexpected conversations.
The problem is that third places are becoming a dying art. In this increasingly technology-focused generation, third places have been swept aside to make way for a new domain: social media. Creating the illusion of widespread connection, social media has created a platform for consumption and experience in solitude. With noise-cancelling headphones plugged in, we would rather “rot” in bed than do anything else. And it’s easy to question what we’re really missing out on. We can still make plans with our friends when we want to. We still find interaction in our second place. So what’s the big issue?Â
While social media may feel like a solid enough third place, it lacks what matters most about one. A third place is the emotional warmth of an in-person smile, with chatter and laughter filling the backdrop of a room. It is the excitement of unexpectedly running into someone you haven’t seen in a month and catching up while you wait in line for coffee. It is all the invisible strings tying you together, bringing new and old friendships into your life.Â
I hope that everyone can discover a third place that feels like home to them. Find a cafe and go so often that you become friends with the barista. Discover your favorite tree tucked into the corner of campus and see who passes by. Wherever it may be, I can guarantee that you will find an unexpected and hidden beauty in your third place!Â