The clothes we wear are more than just objects. They are a way to express ourselves and can be symbolic of certain events in our lives. Some of the most symbolic items in my closet are my pageant gowns. When most people think about pageants, they think about “Toddlers and Tiaras’” craziness or the petty pageants cat fights portrayed in movies and shows. However, this is so far from the truth. Through pageants, I found a world of female empowerment, personal growth, and a platform to share my story and inspire others. When I look at my gowns, I feel incredibly thankful for each experience they have brought me; I would not change anything about my pageant journey.
- The Wedding Gown
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When I received an invitation to compete in my first pageant, I possessed no knowledge about the pageant world. Did I go to a pageant gown store and get professional help from someone? No. I went to David’s Bridal and found an off the rack white wedding dress. My gown obviously stuck out and reflected that I was a newbie. Needless to say, I did not place in my first pageant. Looking back at my gown, I laugh at how I thought I knew what I was doing. However, I also smile and feel sentimental. When I first started competing, I was this shy 11 year old girl. Growing up in suburban Georgia, I was a minority in every way from my skin color to my height. Currently standing at 6’1’’, I always towered over my peers. Originally, I assimilated and tried to blend in with everyone else. During my first years competing, I always stressed about what to say in an interview or on stage because I didn’t want to appear weird or too different. The more I competed, the more I realized that my differences make me beautiful, and I had the potential to inspire others with my life. Now, I have grown into a confident young woman (who now knows where to buy pageant gowns), but I hold my first dress close to my heart. My wedding gown represents a stage when I was still struggling to find myself. While it was a complicated time, I am thankful for it, because without my struggles, I would not know my worth today.
- Floral With a Little Sparkle
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A few years into my pageant journey, I wore a lovely floral gown with a sparkly belt. It was dreamy, reflected my hopeless romantic style, and guess what the best part about it was? It had pockets! This gown represents a milestone because while competing in it, for the first time, I publicly talked about my speech and processing disorder, apraxia. In pageants, candidates need a platform, a cause they are passionate about. Before, my platform lacked substance and did not support a specific cause. I struggled to be open up about my disorder because I feared people would find me dumb or stupid. One day I realized, despite my processing disorder, I was achieving my goals in school and extracurriculars. I should not be ashamed of my apraxia, but proud of it because it makes me who I am. When I shared my story, I received such a positive response and made an impact beyond my imagination. After four years of competing, I also won my first title in this gown. My floral gown not only represents persistence and determination, but also reminds me that I have the ability to make an impact on people’s lives by being my true, authentic self. I am thankful for my processing disorder and this gown because they symbolize that I can overcome any obstacle I face.
- The Emerald Green Gem
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My emerald green gem is the first gown I wore after undergoing a severe spinal fusion. With two large curves in my spine, I had no choice but to have a procedure that placed metal rods and bolts along my entire back. My post-surgery pageant motivated me to remain positive during my recovery. The first time I wore my gown at the National American Miss Georgia State pageant, I was only six weeks into my recovery and still felt the effects of adjusting to my new body. When I look at my green gown, I am thankful for my strength and determination. Six weeks before the pageant, I could barely walk a hallway, but in that gown, I graced a stage in front of hundreds of people. My emerald green gem symbolizes how grateful I am for the motivation that pageants have given me to be the best version of myself, both mentally and physically.
- The Royal Blue Beauty
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Up to this point in my pageant journey, I only considered ball gowns when trying on dresses. This royal blue beauty broke my ball gown chain with its straight skirt and overlay. Its darker color, silhouette and neckline gives the gown an overall mature look. While absolutely beautiful, I originally felt nervous to wear it. However, all those feelings faded when I started competing in it and felt absolutely beautiful. Wearing this gown made me realize that change is good. My royal blue beauty symbolizes that it is okay to step outside my comfort zone, because when I do, I can be pleasantly surprised. I am thankful that this gown made me push my limits and realize that growing up and trying something new is not a negative experience.
- The Ruby Red Risk
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After six years of competing, I won my first state title in this dress: the 2018 National American Miss Georgia Teen. I accomplished one of my biggest dreams in this dress, but this gown also created a large amount of stress. I originally tried it on four months before the pageant, but I decided against it because the skirt was too embellished. Despite the skirt’s embellished fabric, the gown’s fit made me extremely happy, and I ordered a custom gown from the designer. Three days before the pageant, I arrived at the store, picked up my gown, and wanted to cry upon seeing it. The gown was a disaster. From the wrong color, to the wrong fit, to the wrong size, everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. Without a backup, I was scrambling. During my panic, I noticed that no one bought the original red gown I tried on before. Walking over to it, I examined the skirt, and realized there was an overlay that could be removed. This alternation would take away the embellishments that I disliked. I ended up buying the original gown, driving across the city to the designer, and having her redo the skirt all within 48 hours. To say the least, it was very nerve wracking! However, after the stressful experience, I won the title I had been working towards since my pageant journey’s beginning. I will never forget the moments after my crowning: a girl came up to me and shared that she had been following my story. She felt inspired by me, and it was because of people like me that she did not take her own life. I remember feeling so touched and speechless that I was able to make that large of a difference in someone’s life. Now, when I look at ruby red risk, I am not only thankful for the title I won in it, but the lessons it taught me. This gown symbolizes that there is always a way and that you should always be the best version of yourself because you never know who is watching.
- My Lilac Love
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I wore my lilac love to my first appearance as Miss Georgia Teen. I visited the Miss Florida pageant and met so many of my amazing sister queens. This gown has the most simple details of my collection, but I love it because of its elegance and flowy skirt. I did not accomplish a large milestone or come to a major epiphany in this gown, but it still holds significance. My lilac gown reminds me of the friends and memories I made during my year of reign. Pageants are more than just crowns and banners; they are also about making connections and building other women up. It is sometimes the most simple conversations, events and moments that make the best memories.
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The Coral Couture
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I love this gown so much! The fabric changes color in the light, and I feel like an absolute princess in it. I competed in the coral couture at nationals as Miss Georgia Teen. Nationals was an amazing experience, from meeting girls all across the country to spending time at Disney. However, I walked away disappointed in myself, not because I did not win the national title, but because I allowed myself to get into my head. I started comparing myself to the other girls competing, and it severely affected my performance. Walking away from nationals, I realized that I can’t worry about others. Instead, I need to work on being the best version of myself. Even though I disappointed myself, I am thankful for the symbolism behind my coral gown as it reminds me that whenever I am in a competitive environment, worrying about others will not get you anywhere. Remember, everyone else’s amazing qualities do not take away yours.
My pageant journey is not over. In fact, I am competing in a national pageant over Thanksgiving, and I’m taking each lesson my gowns have represented into the week. I am thankful for pageants not only for the opportunity to wear beautiful, amazing gowns, but also for giving me the confidence, growth, and skills to succeed. Without pageants, I would have not accepted my differences, shared my processing disorder, inspired others, or formed the determination to overcome my boundaries. I’m wearing a new gown as I represent West Hollywood at the National All-American Miss Teen pageant. I cannot wait to share it with others and see what amazing events and lessons it will soon symbolize. No matter what happens in my gown, I know that just like the others, I will be thankful for the experience.