In college, we’re constantly facing a barrage of new people, friendships, clubs, parties, group meals and school traditions. This is one of the most fun parts of the college experience, but it can also be one of the most exhausting.
Trying to navigate being away from home for the first time, while maintaining good grades, taking care of your body, honoring your mental health, fostering new friendships, going out all the time and remembering to still reserve moments alone to recharge is a daunting task.
History tends to repeat itself, and for me, alone time is typically the first category to fall by the wayside. I don’t know about you, but FOMO had me in an absolute chokehold last year. I had this irrational fear that if I didn’t say yes to every single invite, I would stop being invited altogether, my friends would hate me and I’d be a social outcast. (Ok, well…that’s a slightly dramatized version of my freshman inner monologue, but you get the point). So, in a desperate attempt to do it all, I burned out.
Shocking, I know.
I was so terrified of missing out on a new memory, bonding moment or legendary story that I pushed myself too far and committed to too many things. Ironically, this left me feeling the emptiest I’ve ever felt. Rather than living in the moment and soaking up those memories, I was simply relieved to have made it there in the first place. These events that were supposed to be fun instead felt more like obligations that I just needed to get through. I’d overcommitted myself and fallen into a spiral that left no time for me.
I have always been an extremely social person that feeds off the energy of others, but this doesn’t mean I don’t need time for myself. Although I live for a girly pregame spent drinking espresso martinis, the feeling of stacking my frat president boyfriend in a game of rage cage and dancing the night away with all my best friends, I’ve learned it’s ok to say no to those things. An occasional Friday night spent laying in bed with freshly changed sheets, shaved legs and looking like a glazed donut after my skincare routine is an integral part of being able to truly enjoy those aforementioned aspects of my life.
More importantly, I’ve learned that you don’t need an excuse to say no. Not only that, but the friends that matter most will still be there, even if you say no sometimes. So don’t be afraid to pass up on the group dinner at Epicuria in exchange for Rende and watching New Girl in bed. I promise the memories and the people aren’t going anywhere.