Homesickness was, and still is, one of the hardest things that I’ve had to deal with since moving away to college. I’m now in my second year of undergrad, and I still miss home and my family often. But I also love it here at UCLA, and have created a new home here for myself that I wouldn’t trade for the world. And although these two feelings seem contradictory, I’ve come to realize that feeling homesick is so common, and it doesn’t mean that I don’t love my new home here as well.
Growing up, I was always extremely close with my family, especially my younger sister whom I consider my best friend. I spent a lot of my time with them up until I moved away for school, and a lot of my favorite memories involve being surrounded by family.
But as close as we were, I was still looking forward to moving away for college. I was excited for the fresh start in a new city, with new friends and new classes. I was ready for a change of pace, and I definitely got that when I moved to UCLA. It felt like my world expanded tenfold after even just three days at UCLA, and I was soaking up every second of it. I was experiencing so many new and different things everyday, and it was so invigorating to really feel like an adult for the first time.
Then, things started to slow down a bit. I got in the routine of my classes and clubs and felt more used to the new environment that was now my home. And when the monotony of the days started to catch up to me, I realized how much I really missed home.
I know that I missed my home and family the entire time, but it was so easy to push down this feeling when I was too busy having a great time. It was also hard for me because in my mind, I was confused how I could be feeling these two things at once. I thought, “how can I truly love it here if I’m still missing home all the time?” It didn’t make sense to me at all, and it was hard for me to rationalize those two contradictory (or so I thought at the time) feelings.
But, after almost a year and a half of feeling like this, I’ve finally realized that these two feelings can exist in tandem. The existence of one feeling does not negate the existence of another.
It’s been hard to learn this, and it’s hard to miss home. There are times when I feel like I’m down in the gutter and all I want to do is see my mom and give her a hug. But honestly, this feeling just comes with the college territory. And I’ve learned how to cope with it as time has gone on. I make some time for self-care, eat foods that remind me of home, and the most obvious (but also definitely most helpful) is calling my family. Even just a quick phone call on the walk to class can help me feel closer to them and helps me cope with missing them so much. I am also thankful to live in Southern California, so I am able to go home on some weekends pretty easily, which I tend to take advantage of.
Overall, the whole homesick thing can really suck. It can be super painful, and something that seems to have no remedy. But I’ve found that it doesn’t always have to be super painful forever; as you grow and mature, that feeling will do the same alongside you. Also, being homesick can remind you how much you have to be grateful for: an entire support system that will embrace you with open arms the second that you’re home again.