One thing no one prepares you for in college is the struggles of maintaining long distance friendships.
We move across the country and start new lives with new characters and new daily routines. How do you keep close with your friends you grew up with when you are no longer a constant in each other’s day to day?
This was something I struggled with a lot during my transition to college. Whenever I periodically visited home for breaks, I noticed how much had changed each time I returned. Going through my third year of college, I’ve learned the beauty that comes with these long-distance friendships and how to better maintain them despite the distance and time apart. Although our high school friends are not with us every day, long-distance friendships give you the space to grow and share your new experiences as they develop.
I have to admit, my circle from high school has shrunk a lot throughout the years. The people you only see during larger group gatherings start to fade, and your true relationships are really put up to the test. However, these friendships often turn out to be the strongest ones you have, and the distance inherently makes the bond grow stronger.
This is because maintaining these relationships is not easy. You need to reach out, and you need to put in the effort to keep in touch. Most friends don’t text every day or give daily updates, but social media platforms allow us to stay connected even at a distance. Something as simple as swiping up on someone’s story when they post what they’re up to allows you to check in in a light-hearted way. Even without social media, a quick text checking in every once in a while goes a long way. These small acts form a sense of connection, even if your lives are going in completely different directions.
While breaks from school are sometimes few and far between, this vacation time is another great way to reconnect with friends and form new memories and shared experiences. Phone a friend for dinner or maybe plan a karaoke night with your high school friend group. Just give yourself time to catch up and open up to learning about your friends’ new experiences. As time passes, I’ve noticed one of the things that matter most is just showing up when you can. Make that appearance at your friend’s birthday party, or be there for their big event. It’s these little things that show you are still supportive of their lives.
And despite the common lore I see about “dropping your hometown and high school friends” I think that it’s not always necessary to do so. These are the people you grew up with and some of the first people that brought you a sense of community. These friendships are honestly some of the ones I value most because we have that connection born from years together. From first dances to first concerts to first sleepovers, they were there, and they will continue to be there for you, cheering you on from a distance.
College is a great time to branch out, and it is inevitable you will probably outgrow some people in the process, and that is totally okay too! You don’t need to hold on to every relationship, but make sure to make time for the ones that matter. It’s also great practice for post-grad when your friends aren’t always a 10-minute walk away from each other. Just be mindful of who in your life makes you smile and genuinely makes you feel happy about life. These are the people you want to keep, and with a little bit of effort on both ends, these are the people you will have for a lifetime.