Spring break was, like, two days long this year, but I still managed to fit in a lot of thinking time between scrolling through Twitter and obsessively checking my emails. These were some of my most frequent thoughts, ranked from most to least distressing:
- Oh no, my parents are getting old
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Regina George’s Dad is just like my dad— an old-ish white man -
Returning home for Spring Break is comforting, but it can also be a stark reminder of how quickly time is passing without you. For the last year, my dad has taken up the very dementia-chic habit of repeating entire conversations with no apparent recollection of having had them before. My mom, younger than him, has started walking around the neighborhood with her hands held behind her back and practicing tai-chi with the local elders. I try not to think of their aging too much, but it’s hard not to when I come home for Spring Break and my mom looks up from her endless WeChat scroll to ask me if I would ever put her in a nursing home. No, mom, I won’t—but can we hold off a little bit before we start making plans?
- The Current Price of boba is a human rights violation
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My reaction to menu prices :( -
Like sunny skies and budding roses, milk tea should be one of life’s simple and accessible pleasures. Back in my day, a typical boba drink was anywhere between $3.50 and $5.00 and you could add a reasonable tip to your order without feeling robbed. But I just bought a regular black milk tea — no toppings — for $7.15?! Also, a separate but relevant rant: why do cafés charge a whole dollar extra for plant-based milk? At this point, can’t we lactose-intolerant people get some sympathy from the audience?
- Lord, grant me the strength to delete TikTok
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Me @ TikTok -
In a moment of weakness midway through the break, I redownloaded TikTok. My doom scroll lasted an hour before I had to employ my patented escape technique: I counted down from five, exited the app and deleted it before I could open it back up. I can go on forever about how strongly I believe everybody should delete TikTok, but to keep it short, I don’t think there exists another form of social media that can so massively distort your self-image in as little time as TikTok does. Whoever designed the algorithm really did a great job, because it knows how to latch onto my unhealthiest fixations and make it close to impossible to stop scrolling.
- Since when was that a vom song?
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An actual representation of me blocking out a Vom Song -
Have you ever turned on an old favorite song and immediately felt nauseous? Well, I call these vom songs, or songs that have been tainted by an era of poor mental health and now induce nausea and unease. While sitting in the boba shop where I bought the aforementioned 7-dollar drink, I was so nauseated by their entire playlist that I had to drown it out with noise-canceling earbuds. That is how I discovered that almost everything I had in my heavy rotation in 2021 has become a personal vom song. RIP “My Universe” by Coldplay and BTS, you will be missed.
- I’m obsessed with Jimin (and everybody around me needs to be obsessed with him, too)
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Jimin performs “Like Crazy” on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon -
The absolute highlight of my spring break was Jimin of BTS’s solo album debut. His first full album, Face, came out on March 24. Since then, I have streamed its six songs a combined total of over 200 times. Words can’t express the full extent of my feelings for Park Jimin, but actions speak louder than words and my actions included forcing my entire family to watch hours of Jimin’s interviews and music show performances. There is no stronger mother-daughter bonding activity than reacting to your mom reacting to Jungkook of BTS live reacting to Yoongi of BTS interviewing Jimin of BTS.
Obviously, I had a lot to think about this Spring Break. Even after all of my ranting, I’m thankful to have had an opportunity to take a break and reconnect with my family.