I used to think my soulmate would be a grumpy PhD candidate who secretly had a soft spot for me–cue a bit of awkward lab flirting, and maybe a kiss outside the science building in the rain. Thanks a lot, Adam Carlsen. Maybe I’m just a sucker for the STEM-setting romance in The Love Hypothesis.
I was also convinced that love had to be messy and magnetic, like something you survive more than enjoy. Daisy Jones and the Six made me believe love should be chaotic and all-consuming. And The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo reminded me that sometimes, the greatest loves are the most complicated ones… just maybe not the part about seven exes.
I blame the books. Finishing the last page always leaves me craving for the grand gestures and poetic confessions–for the kind of romance that feels too good to be real.
But somewhere between fictional chapters and real-life moments, I realized: book boyfriends do exist. Just maybe not the way we imagine them. They don’t come with dramatic declarations or scripted dialogue. But they might just be the one who shows up every time, without needing a plot twist.
So, for the girls who read romance books because they want to know what it’s like to be loved like that, I get it.
What Even Is a Book Boyfriend?
With romance books come romance tropes: fake dating, grump x sunshine, childhood friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, forced proximity, love triangles, slow burns—you name it.
Essentially, book boyfriends are fictional love interests created by women, for women. They were written to capture our hearts because they reflect the kind of love we want to believe in: gentle, patient, intentional, and aligned. The kind that feels like being on the same page.
The Traits That Translate IRL
To be loved is to be known–not just listened to, but to be understood. A real-life book boyfriend picks up on the little things: the snack you mentioned once, the way you like your matcha, or that your eyes are sensitive to light, so he covers the window without you asking. He actually knows that his words and actions feel tailored to what you need and want.
He matches your energy and supports your passions. Maybe he asks about the books you’re reading, watches your dance practices, or even reads your articles–not just to impress you, but because he’s genuinely interested. He values your voice, admires your talents, and refuses to let anyone minimize them.
He’s respectful. Kind. Present. He loves in a way that doesn’t add pressure, but peace. The kind of care that reminds you you’re not alone. He understands your upbringing—how the way you were raised shaped how you love, how you trust, how you show up for others. He gets that not everything comes easy, and he respects your situation, your responsibilities, and your pace. He doesn’t make you feel like you need to explain or apologize for the things you carry. Instead, he meets you where you are, with patience and grace.
And okay, I’ll admit it—I love when he’s a little possessive. Not in a toxic way, but in the “you’re the only one I want” kind of way. The type to gently brush off other girls because his eyes are only on you. The kind of loyalty that makes you feel chosen every single time.
Also, can we bring back the yearning? The slow-burn pining, the soft tension, the kind of longing that makes you feel like your chest aches in the best way. That’s the energy I want.
Bookmark this: What Love Feels Like Between the Lines
Here are some quotes from my favorite books that have left a lasting impression:
- Everything that made Daisy burn, made me burn. Everything I loved about the world, Daisy loved about the world… We were the same. In that way you don’t even feel like you have to say your own thoughts because you know the other person is already thinking them.”
—Daisy Jones & The Six - “People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth… When you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is ‘You’re safe with me’—that’s intimacy.”
—The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”
—Ali Hazelwood, The Love Hypothesis
Real Life Isn’t a Rom-Com (But That’s Okay)
Let’s be honest, people don’t come with inner monologues or slow-motion entrances. Dating is messy. Sometimes it’s late replies, mismatched love languages, or awkward silences. And no matter how badly you want one, you can’t force a meet-cute. Trust me, I learned the hard way, Those moments just happen on their own.
Still, there’s something beautiful in effort, vulnerability, and slow-burn love. The kind that builds in small ways, not just cinematic ones.
And while it may sound like we’re asking for too much, we’re really not. The things we want often seem so simple that people mistake them for the bare minimum. But real love and communication are expressed differently for everyone. Not all men are the same, just like not all women want the same things.
You Are the Main Character
Romanticize your own life. Take yourself on solo bookstore dates. Curate playlists that feel like your chapters. Notice the way your eyes light up when you talk about the things you love.
So when the right person comes, they won’t feel like a plot twist–they’ll feel like a page-turner. Someone who makes your story better just by being part of it.
So yes, book boyfriends do exist. Maybe not with the plotline you imagined, but the love story you didn’t know that you needed. They show up in quiet, intentional ways–in the way he turns his car into a safe space, filled with blankets and plushies just so you have somewhere to decompress when your own place doesn’t feel like an escape. In the way he calls you on his lunch break, simply to feel close to you, even if it’s only for ten minutes. And in the little things he saves just for you—the Ferris wheel he’s never been to, the movie he’s been waiting to watch, the food he wants to try—because he wants to experience it for the first time together. Not just for the moment, but for the meaning and memory it holds when sharing it with you.
He’s definitely more than a background character in your story. If anything, he’s not just part of a chapter—he’s the whole book.