I Recklessly Chopped All My Hair Off, Grew It Back Out & Want To Chop It Off All Over Again

Have you ever had those nights where you just feel like, I should cut bangs right now? I know I have. Have you also ever had those days where you are just like, I should cut off my 15-inch-long hair off in into a pixie cut? Yeah… no? Just me? Probably. In May 2017, I was searching for a change, and I spontaneously scheduled an appointment to chop all of my hair off. Here is the thing though: I have always had long hair, and I was pretty much always known for that. Nonetheless, there was a point where I felt like my hair was becoming a security blanket and almost limiting me from understanding my identity. 

It sounds silly to say that my hair was weighing me down (and it truly was— the weight of it was causing chronic migraines), but it was making me feel constrained by society’s standard of beauty for women. I had been engrained with the notion that ideal femininity meant a big chest, a big butt and long, beautiful locks. I only had one of the three, and it felt like I needed to maintain it in order to be considered a pretty girl.

If I cut my hair, it would mean that I was compromising the only thing I had going for me when it came to archetypical beauty. Something inside me told me I should just do it and to go against the grain. So I did.

I loved my short hair. It gave me a confidence that I had never had before, and I felt freed from the traditional beauty standards that society had placed on me. Even so, a lot of people told me that they thought my long hair looked better because it made me look more girly, but I did not care. In fact, it was one of the first times in my life that I did not care what others thought because I liked it anyway.

Furthermore, I have always been someone who likes to experiment with my style, and having short hair meant that there was a new avenue of creativity to explore. I could wear headbands, hair clips, hats or fun earrings. Of course, I could do that with long hair, but it was not even something that I had considered prior to cutting my hair. My love for fashion only grew during that time, and that was when I truly understood that a good outfit contributes to me feeling my best. I also felt more motivated to try out makeup, and it felt empowering to be wearing makeup because I was just having fun.

I am currently growing my hair out, but not because I want to conform to the standards of beauty, but because I want to continue to experiment with how I look with long hair.

Nevertheless, I still feel tempted to make the big chop again, and I honestly know that I will soon. I loved the confidence and sense of creativity it gave me. Mixing up my style and straying from the norm deeply empowered me and challenged me to love myself in ways I could not even fathom before.

I recommend to anyone to go for that hairstyle refresh - you never know how it will transform your life!