Growing up, I’ve had periods of identity crises where I’ve wondered if I was “Vietnamese enough.” Sometimes, I felt a need to assimilate to my environment and become more “Americanized,” while other times I felt as though I was losing my Vietnamese background. However, being able to connect to my roots to understand my family dynamic and culture better has shaped my identity today.
I remember that as a kid, I would be embarrassed to speak in Vietnamese in public. Since most people speak English in public settings, I felt that it was necessary to follow the norms of everyone else. I even avoided speaking on the phone in Vietnamese in public in fear of being ridiculed. Of course, now looking back, I realize just how absurd my fears were. Why should I be ashamed of speaking a second language in public when it’s a way to communicate? This understanding has led me to be more appreciative of my ability to speak Vietnamese proudly.
Being so used to seeing my parents in the present, I’ve never had the urge to ask them about their lives before I was born. However, spring quarter of freshman year was my first opportunity to get to know my parents’ past. During this time, I was involved in the Roots Project for the Vietnamese Student Union (VSU). As a participant, it was essential to have a conversation with my parents about their past, which included their childhood, how they immigrated to America, and how they built up their lives after immigration. Initially, I felt too awkward to even ask my mom about her story. This was one of the first times where I actually sat down with my mom and listened to a personal story. Hearing about her roots made me understand my own better and why my parents do what they do. Even more so, it’s made me embrace my Vietnamese identity because I am able to respect what my parents went through to pass down their traditions in a new home that they had to adjust to after coming to America.
