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Sex + Relationships

How To Have A Happy And Healthy Open Relationship In College

The holiday season means pumpkin spice lattes, Christmas carols and sweater weather. Along with these festivities, the approaching fall and winter season do not just mean it is time for familial bonding and friendsgiving, it also means that it is time to get cuffed. 

When we visualize what a traditional relationship between two people looks like, we automatically get a picture of monogamy and the commitment to one person and one person only. Open relationships get a bad stigma among the general public as people usually are not able to conceptualize how both parties in the relationship can be satisfied emotionally and physically. I am here to- hopefully- help change your mind. 

Before we start, I think it is important to debunk certain misconceptions about being noncommittal. Polyamorus and non-monogamous relationships are two unrelated terms to describe relationship forms. Polyamory is when three or more people decide to partake in a relationship. Non-monogamous relationships are open agreements between two people who remain the intimacy of being in a traditional committed relationship while having the freedom to see other people. 

Contrary to popular belief, individuals who decide to be non-committal are not especially promiscuous or necessarily scared of commitment. Like I always say, “you’ve got so much love to give, why just give it to one person”?

Here’s a word of advice to all of my fellow hot girl collegiates: go through the effort to make the most out of your UCLA experience! Whether that means talking about an open relationship with your current significant other or not, open yourself up to having new experiences and meeting different people, no matter how many years of your college life you have left. 

Being in an open relationship does not mean you have to sacrifice any intimacy. Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too?

The secrets to a happy and healthy relationships is that there are no secrets! There should never be any untold details in functional, strong, non-commital relationships. Your communication with your partner should be as open as your relationship.

Determine the boundaries of freedom in your relationship with your significant other. Some good questions to communicate with one another are:

  1. Do you want to know all of the explicit details or are my pursuits up to my discretion? Do you want to know when, where and how? 

  2. Are relationships outside of our own strictly physical or can they be emotional?

  3. What aspects are you uncomfortable with, and what solutions can we agree on together?

  4. When we go together, do we leave together?

  5. When do you want to check in with each other, in case our feelings and boundaries change?

Like snowflakes, no two relationships are the same. Communication is key, and there is nothing wrong with voicing how you feel and where you would like to go in terms of your relationship. Like the saying goes, “the truth will set you free”. 

Esther Kang is an English major at UCLA who hopes to pursue a career in broadcast journalism. In her free time, she loves to spend the day inside watching Netflix, spending time with friends and exploring the Los Angeles area.
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