Would you write a 15,000-word essay (60 pages double-spaced) or dance for 15 seconds in front of your class for your midterm? I can confidently say, I would 100% dance (although I, of course, love writing).
If you knew me in high school, you know I was shy. I would never post ANYTHING on Instagram ever, would never volunteer in class (unless it was for my Spanish grade iykyk), and would pretty much stick to my friend group like gorilla glue that you need to get surgically removed from you. Today at UCLA, you might think I’m kidding about this history.
According to MBTI, I went from an INFP to an ENFP. Considering this, let’s see how you can become an extrovert in college or any season of your life!
Recognize why you’re shy
Maybe you’re scared of embarrassing yourself in front of strangers, feel comfortable with your current friends, or would probably choose to write a 15,000-word essay instead of dancing in front of your class as your midterm. Although these are specific actions, there is probably a broader underlying cause to this pattern. By recognizing and understanding the root of your shyness, you can work to challenge that side of yourself and shape it into confidence and excitement. You CAN and WILL become more outgoing if you want to.
Engage with everyone, everywhere
This is step one. It IS intimidating at first, but it gets a lot easier with time.
Make a conversation every time you’re in the elevator. Give a compliment, ask for directions, or bond over the loud music that you hear through their AirPods.
Wave to anyone that you recognize! It doesn’t matter if you met once or you haven’t seen them in a year. This small act will allow you to put yourself out there, and it’s genuinely nice to feel seen and recognized. EXCEPT, don’t be me: I said “Hi Noah” to Noahmillz as he passed by Sproul Hall and he kept walking, but to be fair he had his headphones on and he looked like he was ready to strut down a catwalk to “Flex” by 5th Harmony (to be fair this was at the peak of his contribution to the 5th Harmony renaissance and I met him last spring at an event and he was awesome).
By creating this comfort in a situation that usually makes you uncomfortable, you will get used to it and feel uncomfortable with the awkward silence when you don’t make these little chats.
Get out of your comfort zone (literally)
You might want to stay cooped up in your comfy dorm (or maybe not so comfy depending on your dorm building). But you should try to get out of your comfy air-conditioned bubble (or not air-conditioned if you’re in a classic hall). Go new places and live life.
Get used to rejection. It will make you unstoppable! If you ask someone a question and they answer “No” or just plain ignore you, it’s completely fine, it’s their loss. Make an excuse for them; some people have personal things going on or maybe they didn’t hear you. Take the rejection and move on. Like they say, “rejection is redirection.” This builds social stamina!
Now, we have a social butterfly
Congratulations! You are officially as poised and elegant in your social skills as Princess Mia!