I spent the past summer reassuring myself with the statement, “I just need to get through it.” My relationship had never been tested before by distance and, up until this point, my partner and I have always been attached at the hip. How could I accept the fact that in three months we would be cities apart? Would I be forgotten and not thought about? If everything was changing, how could I ensure our relationship wouldn’t either? While these fears still arise, it was through a change in mindset that I was able to accept my future LDR and better appreciate my relationship.
Once I transformed my outlook from, “I just need to get through it,” to “How can I enjoy it?” I saw an opportunity for growth. I had an opening to prove to myself that I am capable of taking care of my needs and my partner’s simultaneously. Self-care appeared as a means to nurture my relationship. While it’s easy to give in to my depression and anxiety, I had to make the decision to break that habit. By taking care of myself, whether it be something as simple as attending my lectures for the day, maintaining a healthy sleep schedule, or cooking a not so gourmet meal, I am setting myself up to be emotionally available and energetic for when I get to interact with my partner. Involuntarily falling into an LDR felt powerless at first, but by being able to focus on what I can control I regained authority over my life.
Addressing my needs has become my favorite practice. By investing in myself I am able to prioritize and give my full attention to my partner when the weekend comes. Acceptance of being in an LDR is not an easy feat, but even small progress is progress. I embraced my positive and negative emotions, and maintained flexible expectations depending on the day. With that said, by pushing myself to thrive during this time I have developed new friendships, maximized the moments I am with my partner, and cultivated a healthier, trusting relationship with my mind and self.Â