Imagine standing in front of an army of beautiful girls– they have perfect hair, perfect bodies and perfect faces. Would you want to be a part of it?
I did. When I rushed my freshman year of college, I made it my goal to join the top sorority. I was never prom queen in high school, and to tell you the truth, I never felt like I fit in. But now that I was finally in college, it was my chance to be cool– to be popular.
When I talked with the girls in the top house, I was not myself. I made jokes I didn’t find funny and conversed about things I considered boring. When the ladies asked me if I had been going to the frat parties each night, I said I did, but I was really just too tired to go out after the long rush days.
Each morning I found the top house on my rush schedule once again. The girls liked me! Well, they liked the fake me. As I heard the other girls in my rush group talk about how they were cut from the house I wanted to join, reminding me how hard it is to be called back, I felt special– I felt cool.
I returned to the house every day, but only found myself engaging in more superficial conversations. At the end of the week, I got a bid from the sorority. Only one other girl in my group also got a bid because everyone else had been cut. When I opened the envelope and found a certificate with the top house on it, I felt excited, but also really nervous.
But being nervous is not how you’re supposed to feel around your future sisters. My first night out with the house, I felt like I was in high school again. Girls ignored me as I started to talk and I looked at way too many backs from the outside of the circle.
After a week, I decided to drop the sorority– none of girls even seemed to actually care.
I decided to rush again the following year. But this time, I approached the process with a completely new perspective. It no longer mattered to me what house had the best reputation. I wanted to find girls that made me feel comfortable and that I could have genuine conversations with. I was looking for a place that I could be my goofy self in.
It turns out that being myself was the way to go because I accepted a bid from a house I absolutely adore. All of the girls are so easy to talk to and I already feel like I could come to them for anything. I am so excited to continue to get to know my new sisters this year!
But if you just pledged a house that you don’t feel comfortable in, you can always drop and rush again with a different perspective– trust me it’s worth it.
*Photo credits to Unsplash.com