Growing up as an only child, I had a lot of space to myself. My room was exactly the way I wanted it to be, I cleaned whenever I desired and as the years went by, I got to upgrade the decor in my room in the way it suited me…and just me. Then came the day I had to move out and file into a dorm with two other girls. Of course, I was excited because it was going to be a new experience, and at first, every night just seemed like an everlasting sleepover. I was and still am extremely close to my roommates, and I will always consider them my best friends. Yet, as the year went by, complications arose: the room wasn’t as clean as I hoped, sometimes it got loud in the middle of the night and at times, personalities clashed due to differences in opinions.
It seems like a common theme that cleanliness is a problem that comes up between all roommates. Personally, I consider myself a neat freak. I like things a certain way, I am on top of getting groceries and I constantly worry about making the room look presentable. One of my roommates, who has actually always been there for me since senior year of high school, isn’t the most organized person in the world. I often feel bad asking her to take out the trash for this round, to vacuum or even to clean up her desk that has a pile of clothes on it. I am always scared that if I confront her, then a corner of our friendship will crumble away. On the other hand, the sense of annoyance I get walking into my own room is almost unbearable. I have come to realize that our friendship is way more important and that this living situation is temporary. I find myself missing living with her during school breaks. So I have decided to soak in every good moment and appreciate living with one of my best friends.
As we all know, stress can make people say and do things that they don’t mean. During midterms and finals season, my room becomes the epitome of stress central. We all individually complain about our academic hardships, but the issue is that we don’t really give each other advice on how to deal with it. With more stress build up, there is more of a chance one of us burn out and implode, like sending passive aggressive texts to be quiet, giving the silent treatment for a short time or just letting out an obvious, loud grunt. At the end of the day we all know our responsibilities are hard and important, and we try our best to be considerate of each other.
Living with someone naturally makes you closer with them, and more secrets will be shared. I absolutely love getting closer and closer to my roommates because they are my best friends first and foremost. Yet at times, with my other roommate, being there for her can be so difficult. Her love life is complicated, and she often makes the same mistakes over and over again, even though she knows she’s going to end up hurt. So naturally, I am there for her and always will be, but it can be tiring repeating the same advice and seeing her get hurt because she won’t listen to me. This topic affects our friendship more than our roommate relationship, but this is where the line gets messy. I admit that at times, I become passive aggressive towards her just because I project my frustration with her onto our roommate responsibilities. Overall, everyone is bound to have problems here and there with friends and roommates, but what matters is that you hold the friendships to a higher level of importance.