Dear younger me,
I’m turning 21 in less than a week—and honestly, I have a lot of emotions.
I’ve been asking myself: Am I even ready to be 21? What does this age even mean? Is 21 just a label that makes me sound older, or will I feel any different? In some ways, it feels like a milestone. In others, it’s just another candle on the cake. But what I do know is that looking back, there are so many things I wish I could tell the younger version of me—the one figuring things out, one awkward phase at a time.
So here it is. Twenty-one truths I’ve learned before 21. For her, for me, and maybe for you too.
- It’s okay to feel unsure
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Life isn’t a straight path. You won’t always have answers or have everything figured out. Growth takes time, and uncertainty is a part of the process. Just try to take things day by day.
- Try not to be a people pleaser… please
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Not everyone’s opinion should shape your choices. Speak up. Take up space. You don’t have to make yourself smaller for anyone. You deserve to be true to yourself, even if it doesn’t please everyone.
- Set boundaries
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You know yourself best. If something feels off, trust that feeling. You’re allowed to say no and protect your peace.
- Stop apologizing… like seriously
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You don’t need to say “sorry” for simply existing or having feelings. You are not a burden. You don’t owe the world a constant “sorry”.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help
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Carrying too much on your own gets heavy. You’re not a burden. People want to be there for you. So let them; don’t close yourself and shut people out.
- Continue to care and help others
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Acts of kindness, even the little ones, really do matter. You’ll find yourself in the way you show up for others. It feels good to make someone smile.
- Practice having patience
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Patience is a virtue. Have patience. With people. With timing. With yourself. Everything unfolds when it’s supposed to.
- Try not to stress when things don’t go according to plan
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Plans will change. Unexpected things will happen. It’s frustrating, but you’ll be okay. You’ll adjust. Things just have a funny way of working out.
- Have more self-love for your appearance
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Stop picking yourself apart. You are not a flaw to be fixed. Try to be kinder to yourself.
- The gym is a safe space (even if it feels scary)
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Take up space in the gym. It might be scary at first, but you’ll build confidence over time. If you’re feeling off, go move your body. Trust the process. You’ll learn to find strength in ways beyond just muscle.
- Don’t be afraid to still feel like a child at heart
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Loving your little trinkets, hobbies, and plushies is not silly. They’re part of who you are. Continue to spark the joy of your childhood. They are sacred. They are you.
- Appreciate the people who listen to you
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Not everyone listens to understand. So when someone does—someone who just lets you talk, who really hears you—thank them.
- The right person will come to you
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It’s okay to go on dates, meet new people, and figure out what you’re looking for. But don’t stress or rush the process. The right person will come when the timing is right—and when they do, you will feel seen, valued, and genuinely understood in a way that feels effortless.
- Don’t be afraid to reach out and reconnect
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Whether it’s a childhood friend or someone you randomly clicked with, definitely reach out. You never know what that conversation might spark.
- Cherish the time spent with mom
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She’s been there more times than you realize. She knows you, sometimes more than you know yourself. Take the time to understand her and appreciate the love she’s poured into you. Tell her you love her and say it often.
- Forget cliques, enjoy your inner circles
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You don’t need a go-to friend group to belong. It’s okay to have friends from different places. Keep the ones who really see you and make you feel like yourself. Cherish the genuine connections, even if they’re scattered across different parts of your life.
- Don’t be a homebody (at least not all the time)
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Yes, decompress when you need to. But don’t let every day pass you by from your bed. There’s life outside your room—go find it.
- Go experience a concert at least once
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Seriously. Seeing your favorite artist live, singing your heart out, and just being in the moment? Unmatched.
- Find more time to enjoy a book
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Put your phone away and just get lost in a good story. Reading is an escape and a comfort.
- Music is therapy
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Sometimes, making a playlist is the best way to say what you can’t say out loud. Putting your feelings into a playlist counts as processing them. Let the lyrics say what you can’t. That’s healing too.
- The world has more to offer than your comfort zone
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Try things at least once. As Mamma Mia says, “Life is short, the world is wide, and I want to make some memories.” So go make them.
So if I could tell her anything, I’d say:
You’re doing just fine. You don’t need to have it all figured out, and honestly, you’re not supposed to. Things won’t make sense, and that’s okay. There is still so much time to grow, to heal, to love, and to simply become. Growing up can be scary, but don’t worry. I’ll be right here holding your hand through it all.
With love,
From 21-year-old me