Insecurity is embedded in the best of us. Some of us feel it more than others, but for most people, it’s inherently present. If you’re like me, you may struggle more than most with feeling sufficient in your own skin, and if that’s the case, this article is for you. For most of my teenage life, I struggled with feelings of insecurity, as I am sure we all did to an extent. Personally, I struggled with anxiety, and my anxiety was pretty debilitating. I was not confident in who I was or what I was capable of, and I constantly doubted myself. Moreover, I looked at life with a glass-half-empty mindset. When I got to college, however, I started to notice a change in myself; I became healthier in every way. I started feeling better about myself, I surrounded myself with positive friends, and I even started eating better. This change was not at all because of what was going on in my life; in fact, my freshman year was incredibly stressful as I tried to figure out whether I wanted to transfer home or not. Instead, I know that this change I instigated in my life was caused by the behaviors that my friends and I learned. I was quite arguably at my lowest point of “not knowing who I was”, and yet, I was still a mentally healthier person.
Being cognizant of the fact that I had somehow managed to make a meaningful change to my mindset helped me stay sane in what may have been the craziest transition year of my life. I want to put some helpful tips out there to help others, because if I was able to go from a negative, hurting individual to a positive and more appreciative soul in the midst of my biggest life crisis, then something had to be done right. It all starts with restoring your confidence, so here are 6 simple ways to improve your mindset:
- For every derogatory thought you have about yourself, think of two positive attributes.
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It’s easy to think poorly of yourself, especially if your self-assurance is low and you aren’t happy with who you are. This is a confidence issue, and the only person who can change your confidence level is you. It’s no easy feat- TRUST me, I know. And it takes time. It’s not like one day you’re just going to wake up feeling infinitely more confident in your being. But reminding yourself of your inner beauty while rejecting the unimportant, unchangeable insecurities can be a small way to make a big improvement. Because I guarantee it, the sources of your insecurities are just ten times worse in your head.
- Stop looking at life as things done TO you.
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My friend Lauren just said this to me the other day, and I have been thinking about it ever since. While discussing the subject of negativity in people around us, she said that the common theme between people who view life through a negative lens is that these people see the slightest misfortunes as things done TO them- as things life purposefully decided to hurt them with. This is such an important differentiation to make because it can totally reshape your outlook on your life. The things that happen in life don’t need to be looked at as attacks on you. Life is a random series of unfortunate events for EVERYONE. No offense, but you’re not special. Everyone is going through this together, and it’s not always pretty. Rather than pity yourself, focus that energy on being there for others.
- Surround yourself with positive people.
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This proved really important for me these past two years at school. I have learned how immensely important it is to surround yourself with loving, encouraging people who exude positive vibes. Our close friends’ moods deeply affect our own, so if you aren’t surrounded by sure-minded, strong, optimistic individuals who are confident in themselves, it is much harder- or even impossible- for you to find confidence.
- For every mediocre or difficult situation you find yourself in, try to find the silver lining and CHOOSE to look at it in a positive light.
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Every time you encounter a situation in life, you have a choice. You have a choice of how you want to experience this event and how you want to remember it. Choose the positive path, because life is too short to choose otherwise.
- Be good to your body.
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A healthy mind must first reside in a healthy body. You can’t expect to have a clear mind if you aren’t treating your body right first. Eat well, eat often, exercise, read, sleep eight hours every night and find time to take a breather through activities like meditation (pro tip: Headspace is always great app).
- Remember what makes you tick, what lights you up, and what makes you really feel happy.
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So we’ve established how to increase your confidence and how to look at life more positively; this tip is about how to maintain this positivity by striving for sustained happiness. I have found that the best way to tap into your inner joy is to constantly remind yourself of your passions and of what you love most in this life, as well as by following the keys to your individual happiness.
Whoever you are, I think that you can take something from this piece. Or at least, I hope you can. These tips have changed my life for the better, and I hope you can find something in here- even just one thing- to take with you. Crafting the best version of yourself takes time, work and patience, but it is all so worth it in the end because it leaves you fully capable of embracing your true potential.