If you have not already noticed, we are living in a time where traditional practices are being updated, gender roles are being shifted and limits are being broken. Today, people are challenged to create their own paths and disrupt the old. One old practice which women are being welcomed to challenge is the classic move of asking someone out on a date. Traditionally, a man is expected to ask a woman on a date. This leaves the woman waiting on the man, out of power and vulnerable to the man’s own judgment. However, just because this is how the classic movies and our parents did it, does not mean that it is the only way to do it. Let us put the power to ask someone on a date back on the table and pull up a seat for women. Here are a few tips when asking a guy on a date as a strong and independent woman:
- Be the one to start with power moves.
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One thing you want to do before asking someone on a date is to be positive that there is a chance of them wanting to go on a date with you in the first place. One way to do this is to make a strong and powerful move. Make a move that can clearly be seen as having romantic intent so that you can accurately gauge his response. Some moves you can make include buying them a drink, asking his friend about him, leaving your friends to talk to him, complimenting them or even touching his arm while making clear eye contact during a conversation. This lets them know you are interested and encourages them to show if they are as well. This can give you the confidence to ask the date question and also lets you know how they respond to a woman taking control.
- Talk with your body.
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Body language is an important step in gaining the confidence to ask someone on a date. Read how they areinteracting with you. Where are their eyes? Are they looking at you during group conversations? Where are their arms and hands? These seemingly irrelevant details can make all the difference.
Be sure to convey your own interests in your body language. Feel out the moment and see if they move closer to you when you move closer to them. If they begin to back away, maybe move on. If they stay close, you then have the confidence to ask thiem on a date because they reciprocate the attraction.
- Do not be vague.
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Many people may have never been asked on a date by a girl so it is important to be clear what you are asking. Try not to ask them to “hang out sometime” as though you are going to kick back whenever it is convenient for you or you happen to run into each other again in some random group setting. Ask them to a specific location or ask if they are free a specific day. Be excited and smile to let them know that this is something you look forward to. Be confident and show them you are excited. They are likely to match your energy. It is always better to be honest because that is how you get the most honest response.
- Do not lose communication.
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Whether this be before or after asking the date question, never lose communication. You have to put yourself at the forefront of his mind, especially if it is someone you only just met. That is how you build excitement and anticipation. It is also important in order to assure that the date is not awkward. Make sure that you know a bit about each other and that you have things to talk about. Feel free to steer the conversation!
- Do not let a “no” put you down.
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Everyone has been rejected. It is nothing new and it is not the end of the world. If you happen to get rejected when popping the date question, do not take it personally. They have every right to say “no” and you were not wrong for asking a question. The best thing to do is to walk away with your head up, be grateful they did not lead you on and try again next time. Be proud that you made a bold move and take notes on each of your experiences, whether they be a rejection or not. Who knows, if you keep in contact, maybe you at least got a cool friend/wingman out of this whole situation. Or, maybe they havea friend…
Asking someone out on a date as a girl can seem scary but whether you are the one waiting to hear the question or asking the question, you are always going to be scared. That is just how relationships are and how they always will be. However, the benefit of having the confidence to ask the question yourself is that you always have some voice in your own story and you can always choose which role you want to play, no matter your gender.