Growing up means outgrowing old spaces, old habits and even old friendships. This doesn’t necessarily have to be a grieving period, though. With healthy communication and self-awareness, this friendship can receive the closure it deserves, and you will be able to welcome new relationships into your life because of it. Here are five subtle signs of a friendship that is nearing the end of its chapter in your life:
- YOU START NOTICING MORE NEGATIVE TRAITS
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This is a small one, but a big one. Whether it be the way they say that certain word or the way they hit your arm when they laugh, you will start noticing little things more that you didn’t use to. This may be your body’s way of hyper-analyzing or even self-destructing, as it is trying to find the flaws in this failing friendship. Be easy on yourself!
- YoU FEEL LESS INCLINED TO REACH OUT TO THEM
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First, it starts with late replies. Then, slowly, no replies at all. And usually, it’s the same person reaching out and the same person being unreachable. If you’re the person being unreachable, I get it. Life gets busy. Maybe you have a lot going on that requires your full energy. But the key in this sign is that it’s not just because you are too busy to talk, it’s because you don’t want to. Frankly, you may not care about the updates about your BFF’s ex that’s been around for far too long. You may be projecting your interest elsewhere and that is perfectly okay.
- YOU DON’T LIKE WHO YOU ARE AROUND THEM
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Have you ever felt your energy shift while being around someone? Maybe your social battery is suddenly at 0% when it usually sustains longer than that? It’s a horrible feeling to be in the presence of someone’s company while you would rather be elsewhere. You may catch your mind wandering while being with them and maybe you are never even fully present in the times that you are. Stop trying to force yourself into a space you have already outgrown. Subconsciously, you are not there.
- ALL YOU GUYS TALK ABOUT IS THE PAST
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It is completely normal to run out of things to talk about. But with your best friend? Now that’s a different story. A tell-tale sign that you are outgrowing your best friend is found in the silence. Maybe all you two have left in common is the past: things you used to do together and funny moments you used to have. You might’ve even clung onto these moments just for the sake of keeping the friendship alive; both of you in denial of the possibility that there may not be a future for you two. I should add that it’s totally okay. Just because you have so much history together doesn’t mean that your future is set in stone. And the sooner you both come to terms with this idea, the sooner you can adapt to what may become.
- you are still reading this article
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The mere fact that you are still reading this article is the biggest indicator that this friendship, fortunately, and unfortunately, is coming to an end. You two are just growing in two different directions. It’s inevitable, it’s natural and it’s human. Have an honest conversation with your friend and with yourself, because chances are, they’re feeling it too. You aren’t the same person you were at the beginning of the friendship and neither are they.
Some friendships can be reignited by communicating honestly and having an overdue heart-to-heart. And some friendships have simply run their course in your life. It’s painful, uncomfortable and terrifying to have to be the one to cut ties, especially if this is a deep-rooted, childhood friendship. The more time you spend in dead-end friendships, the longer it will take for you to find your true, lifelong friends. Make that step. Your future self will thank you!