Let’s officially ring in cuffing season by talking about dating in college! Dating in college can be exciting and refreshing, but it can also be difficult to balance with other social relationships, academics and extracurricular activities. Every dating experience is different, and so many different factors can change how a relationship begins, develops and ends. Three women who are currently in college shared about their experiences with dating in college. Here are some of their thoughts:
Soo Min Kim
HC: What are the pros and cons of dating in college?
SK: College can be a stressful time for a lot of us. Knowing that there is someone who loves and cares about you during this stressful time is a blessing. And because of that common ground between us (school, classes, clubs), you can easily rely on and help each other. And also because of this, it comes with a challenge of how well you can balance academics, dating, friendship and your career. I would not necessarily say this is a con though!
HC: Under what circumstances would you recommend dating in college?
SK: This might sound cliche, but I think it is important that you make sure you know how to love yourself and know how to be confident and independent. It doesn’t mean that you should know everything about yourself before dating because dating someone will help you learn new things about yourself that you wouldn’t normally know. Just being honest with yourself and your emotions, trusting the decisions you make, being able to embrace any of your shortcomings and flaws are all acts of loving yourself and being confident.
HC: Since both of you attend UCLA, how do you think that affects your relationship?
SK: The close proximity helps us communicate better with each other. Joseph and I live really close to each other and can always meet up on campus; that made me realize how effective and helpful it is to have a face-to-face conversation. Sometimes just texting or calling could cause misunderstandings and small conflicts, but because we can easily meet up and talk to each other face-to-face, it helps us assuage any conflicts we have.
Erinn Lee
HC: What are the pros and cons of dating in college?
EL: This is a great time to take advantage of the fact that we’re surrounded by people of the same age and interests, and it helps you learn a lot about yourself and relationships in general. Personally, I feel like I’ve matured a lot through dating in college and the process of it all. Also, it’s fun, and we’re young, so why not! However, it can be easy to let a relationship get in the way of the rest of your college life, but as long as you find a balance it can add a lot too! Dating, in general, can be a pretty big emotional investment that can be somewhat dangerous if you’re also juggling 18 units, work, research, and social life, so you gotta make sure you’re ready for that!
HC: Under what circumstances would you recommend dating in college?
EL: I personally have never dated someone without establishing a somewhat strong and stable friendship with them first, because I feel like you should have a good sense of what (or who) you’re getting into before you dive in. It’s also probably ideal to be in at least a somewhat solid place with yourself in terms of mental health, identity, self-esteem, etc. because oftentimes that can lead to relying on a partner for more than they can provide. Other than that, as long as you’re mentally ready and willing to put in some sacrifice for a relationship, I would say get out there and go for it! You really don’t know until you try it.
HC: Since you and your significant other attend different schools, how do you think that affects your relationship?
EL: Distance sucks, like literally everyone says. I’m fortunate that my boyfriend attends UC Irvine, which is only about an hour away and also in the city where my family lives, so we get to see each other fairly frequently for a “long-distance” couple. I’m not gonna lie, lacking the convenience and accessibility that comes with being on the same campus is a definite struggle, but it makes seeing each other on the weekends even more special. It’s also cool that we get to share our experiences at different schools with each other when we visit or video call through the day. While we can’t necessarily share our school lives together, it just gives us more to update each other on in the time we spend together.
Angie Park
HC: What are the pros and cons of dating in college?
AP: Dating in college gives you a lot more opportunities since your options are not limited as it is in high school and you have more potential partners as opposed to out of college. Lots of people in their mid- to late 20s say that dating is hard once you’re out of college since the only people you’re exposed to are your coworkers and friends.
HC: Under what circumstances would you recommend dating in college?
AP: Personally, I didn’t date at a state of stable mental health, but having that person next to me really helped me and he got to see and still love me at my most vulnerable state. One underrated circumstance is dating someone who doesn’t go to your school. Most date those who go to the same school since they’re the most accessible, etc. In my opinion, dating someone from a different school is better as it allows for some independence since you’re not constantly attached by the hip. It also widens your social network in some sense.
HC: Since you and your significant other attend different schools, how do you think that affects your relationship?
AP: For me, going to different schools won’t affect my relationship with my significant other in any way as we already have and still are continuing a long-distance relationship. If anything, it makes us a bit more independent and appreciate each other and our time more when we actually are together.
As you can see from these three women, dating definitely has its pros and cons, but it differs due to circumstances. If you think you are ready to date, go for it! Life is too short to hold back, and love is definitely worth it. However, if you want to take your time with dating, there is definitely no need to rush. Take your time because love is worth waiting for!