Whether it’s Bumble, Tinder or Hinge, every girl on a dating app can take solidarity in this universal statement: It’s rough out here. Dating apps, especially with college boys (not men, boys), is a war landscape with plenty of red flags waving around. Here are 12 of those red flags according to some UCLA girls active on a variety of apps:
- Posting Any Body Part Before Your Face
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It’s okay to have a favorite feature, but we still need to see your face. Allison Reed,* who is a loyal Tinder user vocalized frustrations about guys who automatically show off their arms or chest or abs before their faces. Fellow HC at UCLA writer, Jen Daar*, who uses Bumble and Hinge, sometimes sees profiles where the face isn’t visible at all. She said it gives “creepy serial killer vibes.” How are we supposed to know what you look like?
- Grammatical Errors
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People, you’re in college, meaning you passed basic high school English to make it to this point. So why is your profile filled with errors? Allison and Jen both vocalized how frustrating it is when it is obvious you did not proof read your bio. Please put some thought into what you are telling us.
- Annoying Group Pics
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There are multiple categories when it comes to the annoying group pic. Allison gets annoyed when there are so many people in the photo that it’s impossible to tell which guy has the profile. For Jen, it’s when there are more than 5 girls in the photo, “like what are you trying to say including that photo?” she rants to HC at UCLA.
HC at UCLA Editor Audrie Lau also hates when a guy’s first photo is a group pic, and she backed this red flag up with a story that is both unfortunate and hilarious. Audrie told us, “I once matched with two guys who were on a club sports team together and had the same group photo (unrelated to the sports team) in their profile. I didn’t realize it was the same thing, and thought I was just looking at the same profile, so I ended up meeting up with one of them and called him the friend’s name on accident.”
- Poor Courtship
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We’re in a generation where courtship is dead, and this piece has never made it more obvious. I laughed out loud when Allison shared this story about a guy she matched with: “My Tinder bio used to be “Gatsby enthusiast.” I had one guy swipe right and send me his 11th-grade paper on Gatsby, and then he told me he got a C on it? Like, was I supposed to be impressed?”
- Gym Pics
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Oh gym bros, a true staple of college culture. They make their bench press their entire personality trait, and it’s not a good look. Lots of girls are over the gym photos. Jen explains, “We can tell you’re fit, you don’t need to post four pics about it.” Also, they give a lot of girls the ick. Fourth-year HC at UCLA writer Madenn Le Sommier concurs “They just kind of weird me out. Like some of the poses aren’t flattering.”
- An Unhealthy Amount of Anime Pictures
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It’s okay, even great, to appreciate things from other cultures, but don’t go too crazy. Kelly Brown* eloquently explains, “As a Japanese woman, I really get the ick when guys have a bunch of anime references on their profiles/try to talk to me about anime. It gives off a fetishization vibe for sure. I totally understand that there are non-creepy anime fans out there. It’s just that I’ve unfortunately learned to be wary of how many men view East Asian women.”
- Hunting Photos
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Hunting photos are a bold move, and it gives many women (including myself) a poor impression. Kelly is a vegan, these are particularly big red flags for her: “As a vegan, this is a particularly huge red flag, but even my meat-eating friends don’t appreciate the hunting pics. Photos with guns or dead animals can be jarring and give off an aggressive vibe. My friends and I agree that we want to feel as safe and comfortable as possible when meeting guys off of apps, so we prefer photos of pretty much any other activity.”
- Misogynistic Remarks
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If a guy is going to make awful remarks or generalizations about other women, he will most likely make them about you too. “I’ve seen profiles with lines like ‘most of the women on this app aren’t interesting’ or ‘match with me if you’re actually hot enough.’ If you’re the type of man to so pompously look down on my fellow women (and make that one of your core personality traits), you’ve got no chance of getting a date,” Kelly tells HC at UCLA.
- Questionable or Absent Political Views
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Whether it is casual or serious, you want to be with someone who has the same values as you. Erica Dodge* said she automatically gets suspicious if a guy doesn’t have the “liberal” tag on his profile. She wrote to HC at UCLA, “I’m not dating someone who doesn’t support women’s rights. If they don’t put their politics in their bio at all, it’s still pretty suspicious and can end up badly. I’m looking to date someone with my same values, why wouldn’t they be?”
Gwen Jones* also avoids people who call themselves “not political” or don’t indicate their stance. “When men list themselves as ‘not political’ It’s just such a position to take. It lets me know that nothings been bad enough for them, and/or none of their rights have been threatened enough for them to care. I’d rather someone know what’s going on in the world,” Jones discloses to HC at UCLA.
- “Looking for Someone Who Doesn’t Take Themselves Too Seriously”
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Everyone has a very specific red flag, and for 2nd year Hailey Song*, the phrase “looking for someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously” is an immediate no. “The phrase ‘looking for someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously’ annoys me so much. IMMEDIATE skip. We’re all in our 20s and maybe I am concerned with retirement and living comfortably. I’m interested in ambitious men, not ones I have to bottle-feed and entertain. I’m not Cocomelon,” the dating app user tells HC at UCLA.
- Too Many Food Pictures
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Hailey Song also has a very niche red flag for not liking too many food pictures or “If everything on their profile is about their love for food. I love food, but so do you and everyone around you. To be honest, I couldn’t care less about whether you think pineapple on pizza is a crime. Loving something you need in order to survive doesn’t tell me anything. I need to know you can love ME, not sushi.”
- Snapchat Filters
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I heavily agree with this red flag that was submitted by Madenn Le Sommier. The senior, who uses Tinder and Hinge, dislikes Snapchat filters because “you’re just trying to hide what you look like. I don’t need to see you with dog ears and a snatched nose.” I also would like to add that asking for a girl’s snapchat in 2023 is embarrassing! You’re a boy in your 20s, you’re not 12.
Valentine’s Day is coming up, but we are tired of seeing red. As women, figuring out how to present yourself on dating apps is a challenge, and something we put a lot of thought into. Unfortunately, it’s hard to say the same for men. Of course, there are some green flags like a good pet photo or cute photos showcasing hobbies (though this survey definitely showed the jury is still out on whether fish photos are good or not), but they seem to be super rare. So if you are frustrated on dating apps, you are definitely not alone, because like I said before, it’s rough out here.
*All astriked names are aliases for students who wished to be anonymous