The feeling of being in a time-crunch is one that is all too familiar for many millennials, including myself, and since you’re reading this, I’m guessing that it is for you too. Society puts strict regulations on when you should have your life together – the idea that you need to graduate from college by 22, be married by 25 and start a family by 30 are some that you may be familiar with. These ideas have been drilled into our heads by our parents and other relatives, and the media, since a young age. I’m here to tell you that life’s timeline isn’t necessarily one-size-fits-all and not to let society pressure you into rushing into the “real world.”
Let me start off by briefly introducing you to my situation. I am a third-year undergraduate student, and I will be graduating next spring, meaning that I will have completed college in four years, which is what would be deemed “normal” for most. However, my parents would beg to differ. I came into college with a lot of credits from AICE and dual enrollment, so I was originally intent on graduating this spring, which would have been one year earlier than “normal,” and I was also intent on applying to medical school straight out of my undergraduate years. I decided during the second semester of my sophomore year that this is not what I wanted to do. I was not ready to graduate and I certainly was not ready to apply to medical school. Thus, I picked up a minor and decided that I would also take a year off after I do graduate. I have been in school for 16 years and I plan on being in school for at least five more before I enter my career, and I want to ensure that I have time to live my life before then. My parents were not particularly fond of this idea at first, but I believe that they are beginning to see my point of view.
A lot of people do not realize the magnitude of the work we are expected to do in college. Not only is there so much to learn, but we’re also expected to work, have internships, and stay involved on campus and in the community, regardless of major or career path. This is a lot for anyone to handle, and everyone learns at a different pace, so spreading out classes over multiple semesters rather than cramming in 18 credit hours per semester should not be looked down upon. Furthermore, if you do decide to go to graduate or professional school after you graduate, that’s another 2-6 years of an even more intense workload, so enjoying the time that you do have in undergrad is incredibly important. And if you decide to take a gap year or two before attending graduate school, that’s perfectly fine too. A lot of schools do not look down on applicants for taking gap years, as they understand that it is important for young adults to work at a pace that is ideal for them. You’re only young once, and taking time off of school can afford you the time that it takes to have experiences that you would not otherwise be able to have. We have our whole lives to work at our dream jobs, but there is limited opportunity for traveling and otherwise enjoying our youth.
Furthermore, I’m sure that we’ve all been nagged by our relatives at holidays about when we’re going to get a significant other or settle down with our significant other. This is just another way that society pushes its strict timeline on us and is not something we have to abide by. Our families are often well-meaning when they ask us these questions, but it can get old quickly. If you’re ready to settle down and start a family before the age of 25, more power to you, but if not, that’s okay too. And if you don’t want to get married or start a family at all? That’s also perfectly fine. There is not one “right” way to live your life, regardless of what anyone tells you.
Overall, I think it’s important that we all do what’s best for ourselves, personally. We are all on different paths in life, and what works for someone else may not work for you. Let us not forget that graduating from college is always an accomplishment, regardless of what age you are when you finish. The same can be said for getting married, starting a career, having a baby and just about everything else in between. You only have one life so do what makes you happy, and do that whatever way you see fit.