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Sex + Relationships

Why It’s an Honor To Spend Valentine’s Day Without a Valentine

Every couple seems to look forward to Valentine’s Day, and I don’t blame them. I mean, after all, it’s the only day on the calendar dedicated explicitly to celebrating love and partnerships. I even feel obliged to point out tarot cards that can be associated with the significance of this day; The Lovers, Two of Cups, Three of Cups and Ten of Cups are among the first that come to my mind. Regardless of the ambiguity of that statement for anyone unfamiliar with tarot, Valentine’s Day sparks elegant dates, commitment, union, wholesome presents, random surprises and cute butterflies in stomachs.

For single folks, on the other hand, Valentine’s Day turns into a meme of some sort. Feb. 14 triggers tweets and posts about living like rich aunties and hiding out in bedrooms with boxes of chocolate. When the attitude doesn’t use singleness as the punchline of a joke, it’s always one of disdain for romance. People mock the idea of partnership, believing that they would be settling for mediocrity, which is the total opposite of what this day typically celebrates.

Using this day to distance yourself from the idea of romantic partnership doesn’t have to be negative, however. I think spending Valentine’s Day single is truly an honor and blessing that needs to be taken advantage of.

you can spoil yourself

What’s better than celebrating love by showering it onto yourself? By having nobody else to cater to, you can spend your own money to spend time with what makes you happy without feeling the need to include someone else. Spend money on that Kate Spade purse and those red flowers. Shower yourself with gifts. You deserve a pat on the back for being here today and standing strong despite any difficulties that life may have presented you with.

You can sleep peacefully at night

I’m going to be the one to say it: no relationship is as perfect as it seems. The Instagram highlights may showcase the happy moments, but nobody’s going to highlight the sad and frustrating ones. What social media won’t show is the tough times that couples endure, and not having to worry about that should give you plenty of ease. I like to think of it this way: I don’t have to worry about anyone potentially cheating on me. Knowing that the odds are slim to none has helped me further appreciate my singleness. I can attest to the fact that it’s much better to be alone peacefully than accompanied by companions that attribute to your unhappiness.

you can work on healing yourself

Let’s face it. Everybody has some healing to do. Whether it originates from a traumatic event from your childhood or continuous hurt inflicted upon you, we all have some sort of baggage that we keep within. Pain resides in every one of us, and while you can certainly heal your inner wounds while being in a relationship, doing so in singleness allows you to place a greater focus on it. In addition to that, you attract what you radiate. By working past your pain and raising your emotional and spiritual vibrations, you will attract friends and partners who will mirror your renewed and positive energy.

Valentines don’t have to be romantic

If you have a healthy group of friends and family dynamics, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t celebrate the love that you share with them. Valentine’s Day commemorates all types of love, and love isn’t restricted to romance. And thanks to singleness, you can appreciate these people even more. Take a moment to be grateful to those who enrich your life even with your single status, from your best friend that never fails to make you laugh to your mom, who’s always offering excellent life advice. It could even be your dog! Remember those who’ve been there for you through thick and thin. Why not make them your Valentine?

love season can be your season

Piggybacking off of the healing and spoiling, there’s so much honor in showering yourself with the love that you deserve. But it’s more than just buying yourself flowers and working on your mental health. Valentine’s Day can be an amazing season to accept yourself as you are and love every inch of it. Some people fall in love with others around this time; you have the opportunity to fall in love with yourself. There is only one version of you, and there will never be another. Release all expectations that others have of you, and live for your own peace and enjoyment.

Love season can be rough for singles. But I recall a quote from the 2018 Netflix film When We First Met; It goes, “love is about intangible things.” Love can be defined, expressed and showcased in countless ways. There’s always room for love in everyone’s life.

Tala Amalfard is an Advertising/PR student, born and raised in Tampa. When she's not writing, she's watching movies and tv shows older than her, doing random dances in her room, or going on long drives blasting music she discovered on Tiktok. Tala hopes to use her creativity to inspire the world, however that manifests.
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