A lot of people in our society seem to assume that women always want to be in a relationship. What if that girl doesn’t want a relationship? What if she is completely content with being independent and being with whoever she wants, whenever she wants? What if she doesn’t want to focus on anyone else but herself? If that sounds selfish to you, then good! Now, more than ever, is the time to be selfish! It’s the time to explore yourself as a person and learn things about yourself before its too late. You have to learn to love yourself before you can even begin to think about loving another person.
Now is the time to focus on yourself and invest time into building and growing yourself as a person. Focus on what you want to do with your future and take the steps to get there. Don’t let another person drag you down or stop you from getting where you want to go. How can you know what you truly want in a significant other if you don’t even know about yourself and what you want as a person? The time to learn about yourself is not while you’re in a relationship because at that point it’s too late. You won’t learn about yourself, you’ll learn about yourself with that person.
I’m tired of everyone thinking it’s a taboo for women to have their fun and not be in a relationship. Everyone constantly reminds women that their time is running out. Well, I assure you it’s not because no one can decide when it’s the right time for you to be in a relationship. Therefore, you have plenty of time! You have the rest of your life to settle down and be in a relationship, so why start early?
Of course there are going to be times where you might get a bit lonely, see some of your friends getting into relationships, and think how nice it would be just to relax on a Sunday afternoon wrapped in someone’s arms. Well guess what, SNAP OUT OF IT. Those feelings are fleeting, I promise. That all seems fun for that short moment, but remember everything that comes along with it. By feeding into these feelings and settling, you’re only cheating yourself. You’re too awesome to sell yourself short, so don’t!
Don’t settle on a relationship with somebody just because you think you need to be in one. Just because society claims you need to be in a relationship does not mean it’s true! If you settle and get yourself into a relationship with someone you don’t even see a future with, what’s the point? Now I know you may think, “but maybe I can see a future with them? You never know.” In that case, you just answered your own question of whether or not you should be with that person, and the answer is no. If you question it for a second then you are wasting your time.
Life is a precious gift, don’t waste it on just anyone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying relationships are awful and that you shouldn’t be in them. I’m saying that you shouldn’t feel pressured to be in one and you shouldn’t settle. If you find someone who you just know is the one, then explore it. Although, chances are they aren’t, so feel free to get rid of ‘em and just do you. It’s your time to shine…not theirs.
As collegiates we’re constantly judged and pressured about our dating life. We’re in a new society where “hooking up” is the new “norm,” however there’s still a double standard between males and females. As females, we’re always asked why we aren’t in a relationship. We get judged and questioned if we “hook up” with too many guys by society’s standards. Males on the other hand are never questioned on why they aren’t in a relationship. Often times they get questioned for actually being in one. When a guy “hooks up” with whom ever he wants whenever he wants, he gets rewarded for it. But when a girl does it, she gets shamed. This is the type of issue that society needs to get rid of, and the first step is for girls to stop falling into those traps. Be your own person and stop caring what other people have to say about your dating life. Before you get into a relationship with that person, think: “Do I really want this right now? Are they who I really want, or do I just like the idea of them?”
It’s okay to be on your own and be independent, it’s okay for it to be quiet and lonely sometimes, and it’s okay to have a movie night with your best friends instead of with a significant other. If you feel lonely, call your girls up and get together! I promise within seconds of being with them you’ll forget all of those feelings of feeling like you need somebody, because those feelings are temporary. Surround yourself with people who are similar to you, and who are driven and motivated to reach their goals. Be the best version of yourself, not an altered or settled version.
Travel, explore, find out what you do and don’t like, make a few bad decisions along the way, learn from your mistakes, and truly learn about and love yourself. Why should you put your goals and ambitions on hold to help a guy reach theirs? I’m all for helping and encouraging others, but not at the expense of myself. HELLO, it’s 2015! Women can have their own goals and want a future of their own too. Don’t be afraid to be independent and accomplish things on your own because I guarantee it will feel a hell of a lot more rewarding. When the time is right, after you truly know yourself, someone worthy enough of being with you will walk thier way into your life. So until then, I say live it up! Explore yourself and explore the world.
*Disclaimer: My intent is not to offend anyone who’s in a relationship; relationships can be a beautiful thing, I am simply bringing it to the attention of collegiates that it’s okay not to be in one!
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