There’s a classic saying when it comes to dating that goes a little something like this: “when it’s real, you’ll know.”
The trick is understanding that finding that special somebody may not be so easy as making a couple of swipes on a dating app then crossing your fingers and hoping for the best.
No, love– real love is a random thing that surprises you, at least, usually. It’s something that is worked on and perfected each and every single day by both individuals, which allows them to become the best versions of themselves. It deals with the tough days with the same amount of dedication that it stays for the good ones. When it’s real, you’ll know because it won’t be confusing, it’ll just feel right.
So let’s face it, dating is kinda complicated these days. Most of us are trapped and overwhelmed by dating apps that offer us endless potential partners, yet, provide us with “matches” who oftentimes aren’t actually a “match.” It’s a system that’s inherently flawed (most of the time) and can make dating feel pretty useless. After all, how many dates can one person go on before it all begins to feel a bit pointless?
All this isn’t to say that dating around is a bad thing–definitely not–it’s more so just a reminder that the wrong person is still going to be the wrong person in six months time, and sometimes the way we frequent these dating apps contributes to a feeling of wanting to settle.
It’s so easy to want something so bad that you decide to settle with the wrong person, which is seriously a huge red flag and a pretty good indicator that maybe your heart just isn’t into it as much as you’d like it to be. In these situations, it might be a good idea to step back and think about the big picture– your overall happiness. Settling is never a good idea and might lead to problems further down the road that might just end up causing yourself, or others, to get hurt in the process.
The “right time” can have very different meanings, I think, for many different people.
For some, it might mean finding the courage to finally open up to somebody new or feeling secure enough with their career to join the search for love. Whatever the case, if it’s the right time, make sure you’re spending it with the right person.
You’ll know it’s real when you can’t imagine a world without them and you dream of your future together. They’ll be the first thought when you wake up and the last before you go to sleep. It’ll be in the little things and the flaws that you’ll come to love and appreciate the most. They’ll sneak up on you and change you for the better.
That person is out there and if you stay true to who you are and what you’re looking for– you might just end up with the right person you were looking for after all.