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What Would Blair Waldorf Do?

Recently, I’ve stumbled back into what used to be one of my biggest obsessions: Gossip Girl.

In the fashion of Hart of Dixie, Scrubs and Mad Men, I realized late one night that five seasons were put onto Netflix and boom, thus disappeared my social life. While re-watching my favorite Upper East Siders, I also realized that sometime between my freshman year of high school and freshman year of college, I stopped caring about pleasing everyone around me. Instead, I began to focus my energy on defending and caring for only those who reciprocate the favor. I swapped late night parties for early morning yogurt and errands. Watching Gossip Girl again, it dawned on me: I’m not a Serena anymore, I’m a Blair Waldorf.

More importantly, I began to realize it should have been Blair I was idolizing all along. First of all, I’m a brunette, so duh. Even more so is the fact that no matter how many schemes she concocted or how many French princes she divorced, Blair Waldorf always took care of the people she cared about most (and she always looked perfect while doing it!).

A few days ago, in the midst of my morning routine of makeup, bagels and Gossip Girl, I was feeling rather lazy. Looking in the mirror, I danced around the idea of getting an extra 30 minutes of sleep and calling it a sweatpants day. At that very moment, Blair showed up on the screen.

“Destiny is for losers,” she declared. “It’s just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen.”

Somehow, those twenty little words gave me an entire new outlook on life. I did my makeup (very well, thank you very much!), pulled one of my cuter dresses, straightened my hair, and threw on a headband I forgot I even owned. I stopped by the library and finished up an assignment due later that day. After class, I went to the gym. And somewhere along the way, I developed my new life motto:

What Would Blair Waldorf Do?

Would Blair Waldorf dare leave the house without her freshest face on? I don’t think so. Would Blair Waldorf show up to class five minutes late in sweatpants and a baggy T-Shirt? Not in a million years. Would Blair Waldorf ruin the day of the overworked Starbucks waitress, demanding a new Chai latte because it came with too much foam? Probably, but Blair Waldorf is also a fictional character with a million dollars in the bank, so take that one with a grain of salt.

In order to properly demonstrate my great epiphany, I’ve come up with a couple common un-Blair-like mistakes us college girls make on a regular basis. Although I’ll never be Queen B herself, I’d like to offer some solutions to the question, What Would Blair Waldorf Do?

Situation 1: You just woke up 15 minutes before class, and you barely have time to brush your teeth, let alone get ready! What Would Blair Waldorf Do?

Well, first of all, Blair Waldorf would never wake up fifteen minutes before anything. Look for tips on how to wake up earlier to help you kick that sleep-in habit. But if the damage has already been done, I’d say Blair Waldorf would know that a little mascara and eyebrows can make all the difference in the world. Curl your eyelashes (it takes five seconds!), throw some of your favorite mascara on, dust your brows with a powder two shades lighter than your hair color, and run a spoolie through your eyebrows to tame them. Trust me, the two extra minutes in front of the mirror will be worth it when you don’t hear the dreaded “You look tired, are you sick?” from the cute boy in your math class.

Situation 2: You just walked into a huge party, and a girl is wearing the same dress as you. What Would Blair Waldorf Do?

To be frank, Blair Waldorf would probably ruin the poor girl’s social life for the next five years. But since we don’t all have Gossip Girl and an army of minions at our disposal, your best bet is going to be to grin and bear it. Blair would never cause a scene that reflected poorly on her, and if you react too strongly, everyone’s just going to think you’re a brat. Beeline your way to the bathroom with your girls, if there’s any chance one of them is wearing a scarf or cute belt, see if she’ll let you borrow it for the night. Jazz up that LBD with whatever is available! Other than that, make sure you keep your brightest smile, maybe make a few jokes (without hurting the other girl’s feelings!) about the awkward situation. Remember, nothing accentuates an outfit better than a good personality, and no dress is better looking than a girl having a genuinely good time.

Blair once told Serena,

“I’m not a stop along the way. I’m the destination.”

If there’s anything to be learned from Queen B, it’s that no amount of good fortune matters so long as you don’t respect yourself. Put yourself first! You deserve that promotion, internship, cute boy, so be it. You deserve to be your number one priority, and so long as Blair Waldorf roams the decorated halls of Netflix Instant Video, you can be sure I’ll be here to remind you that B would never be seen in a sloppy fisheye club photo…just saying.

P.S,

If I get to be Blair Waldorf, does that mean I get to keep Chuck Bass, too?

Swoon alert.

HCXO,

Gossip Girl.

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