Top 6 Celebrities in your Spring Break Squad
It’s spring break, which means hopefully you’re grabbing your sunglasses, your bikini and your getaway suitcase stuffed with multiple bags of Cool Ranch Doritos, and heading to a week long party. But there’s one thing missing: your crew. Whether you’re staying on a cruise, relaxing at a condo, or just doing your grocery shopping each day of break (I JUST REALLY LIKE THE CEREAL AISLE, OKAY), you want to hang out with the very best. We all know you love your real friends, but here’s a list of celebs you wish were in your spring break squad and what they might offer to your turn up crew(in no particular order).
1) Taylor Swift: Obviously she’s a great singer, but that’s not why you’re inviting T-Swizzle, T-Swift, Tay-Tay, Swifty, T-Homie (we’re besties) to the best spring break you’ve ever had. You won’t need to be afraid of awkward silences, because if that happens you can just gossip about all awful boys she has dated (like what was she thinking with John Mayer? I told her he was a bad idea, but she doesn’t listen). Maybe you can find out how many hats Harry Styles actually has.
What she’ll bring: Three suitcases full of 50s style bikinis that show zero belly buttons, her two cats (Meredith and Olivia Benson, HELLO) and stories about Kanye.
2) Mindy Kaling: This is your best friend of all best friends. If you wanted to lose a couple pounds before the big week, Mindy would try every juice cleanse before you binge eat Oreos while watching Grey’s Anatomy. If you lose your swimsuit bottoms in the deep sea due to crazy waves (this is a specific event that may or may not have happened in real life), your girl Mindy will steal your neighbor’s Lady Gaga beach towel and bring it to you so you don’t have to exit the water in your birthday suit.
What she’ll bring: Every nail polish color that reflects her bubbly personality and random facts of celebs for the six hour car ride (we all want to know childhood facts about Channing Tatum, and I feel like she would know all of them).
3) Aziz Ansari: If you don’t have dreams about pulling pranks with Aziz, you are not a human being. This is your friend who will spend two days pretending to be rich royalty experiencing their first American spring break with you.
What he’ll bring: Every pizza recipe he has ever Instagramed and jokes about his cousin Harris (does he still watch Burn Notice??)
4) Zooey Deschanel: We all love her character on New Girl, and we can only hope she is that quirky, bubbly gem in person. Zooey will sing about flip flops to the tune of “Baby Got Back” while you’re walking to the car.
What she’ll bring: Puns about anything she sees (“This spring break is just beach-y keen! Get it?? Instead of PEACHY KEEN??)
5) Jimmy Fallon: The former SNL star and current Tonight Show host is arguably the funniest man on television, so why WOULDN’T you want him in your squad?? Jimmy is the guy who will make fun of your friends, but in a cute/fun way that will make your trip so memorable! Also, he has two Ben and Jerry flavors out, so maybe he can get a discount for a few gallons (I mean the spring break diet is OVER).
What he’ll bring: Justin Timberlake. Yeah, Justin’s a busy guy with a wife and baby and he just finished a world tour, but I like to think that whenever Jimmy shoots him a text, there’s always time to chill.
6) Justin Timberlake: I know I already said Jimmy would bring him, but if for any reason he decides not to answer Jimmy’s text about ragin’ on break (he’s prolly a little salty Jimmy didn’t name his new baby after Justin), I had to add him to the list. But who wouldn’t want this curly-haired cutie on here anyway?? Justin is the kind of guy who will pretend to be your boyfriend when a creepy dude is hitting on you (but who wants to pretend?), and that makes him the real MVP.
What he’ll bring: Every *NSYNC album every created so you can have nonstop jams for your car ride to and from your destination. And then every night you find yourself begging him to teach you the “Bye Bye Bye” dance, and he eventually gives in. BEST SPRING BREAK EVER.