Cozy beds, room service, free cookies (I’m lookin’ at you, DoubleTree by Hilton)…ahh, hotels. Whether you’re a spontaneous traveler, on a business trip, or simply on a weekend vacay from the real world, we’ve all shared the same thoughts when staying at a hotel.
Is this free?
Let’s face it – I’m in college, and I’m ballin’ on a budget. I already dropped a couple hundred dollars on my hotel, so I practically pee my pants in excitement when I find potentially free things. Free shampoo, conditioner, and lotion in the bathroom? YES! Free continental breakfast every morning? GEE WILLIKERS! Free wifi? #BLESSED.
Why won’t my room key work?
Maybe they didn’t activate my key correctly. Or is it just me? Maybe I’m just not inserting the key long enough. The light is green…why won’t the door open? What if they double booked the room and I walk in on someone?! Maybe the handle is messed up. Maybe if I just jiggle the handle…I’ll just ask someone for help. *person opens door on first try*
What does this light switch turn on?
I want to turn on the bathroom light. Okay, that was the ceiling fan. I could really go for some reading light right about now. It’s probably this switch…okay, cool, that was the bathroom light. I’ll just flip every switch on to see what controls what. *Flips on every switch* *causes power outage in entire hotel, possibly entire city.*
Hotel beds are so comfortable.
Man, I always feel so well-rested when I stay at hotels. Perhaps it’s the combination of soft and firm pillows. Or, maybe it’s the fact that I can keep the A/C at 70 degrees and not have to worry about my utility bill. I can even eat in my bed and not have to worry about having to wash the sheets myself! Netflix + chicken tenders + hotel bed = ultimate paradise.
I wonder who slept in this bed before me.
Full-service hotels have an average of about 300 rooms. SO. MUCH. CLEANING. Do they actually change the sheets on the bed in every single room? How about the pillowcases? I sweat when I sleep. What if the person that slept in this bed before me also sweats in his or her sleep, and the maid didn’t change the sheets? And the person before that? What if someone’s dog slept in this bed?!
Hot tub in my room? SCORE.
I can’t wait to relax. Hot tub + bath bomb + Netflix = the ultimate destresser. ‘Nuff said.
These outlets are in the most inconvenient places.
Ugh, I have so many e-mails to send and phone calls to make and my phone is at 5%. MUST. CHARGE. PHONE. AND. LAPTOP. But all of the outlets are so far away. Need to charge your phone next to the bathroom? This hotel has gotcha covered. How about next to the A/C unit? You’ll have a charged phone with the added perk of being turned into an icicle!
I’ve been traveling all day and I’m currently thirstier than a camel in a sweater at the beach on a 100 degree day. I could drink water from the bathroom sink, but Orlando’s water tastes and smells funky. We’re in the 21st century…how does this hotel not have any water bottle refilling stations?!
Back to reality.
Is it time to leave so soon? But I just got situated! Okay, yeah, I’m stoked to return to my clean sheets and filtered water. And I guess having outlets next to my bed again will be pretty convenient. Sure, it’ll be great to get into my room without a hassle, and having just two light switches instead of 20 will make life easier. But what will I do without the free toiletries and the free breakfast? How will I survive without the hot tub? I guess I won’t be able to binge on Netflix and chicken tenders in my bed anymore.