Long-distance relationships tend to be a dealbreaker for a lot of people. The idea of not being able to cultivate that romantic relationship with the person you love with ease, anytime you want, is a huge turnoff. I don’t blame people for having hesitancy about long-distance relationships. From being in one throughout most of my time in college, I understand the lack of appeal. Long-distance relationships can be complicated and I don’t recommend them for the faint-hearted.
Long distant relationships require you and your partner to improve your communication skills. While communication is a vital part of all relationships, long-distance ones will surely fail if you cannot learn how to communicate with one another. While in a long-distance relationship, you need to find out how to communicate effectively so you both still feel connected. Whether this is carving out a time to FaceTime every night, text every hour or only talk every three days; you need to experiment and see what works best for your relationship.
We all have emotional needs, but while in a long-distance relationship, it can be harder to show up and fulfill our partner’s emotional desires. Although it might not always be possible to “show up” physically, you can still “show up” for your partner in other ways. Whether that is sending a letter, calling them every night at a specific hour, or sending an unexpected gift. In an LDR, you have to be intentional and make sure your partner knows that although you have geography separating you, you are still showing up for them in all the ways that count.
With all the downsides of long-distance relationships, there‘s a significant perk that I feel often gets overlooked. For example, long-distance relationships are great for truly being able to build your relationship with yourself. Since I cannot see my partner whenever I want, I found I have a lot more time to focus on what I need to do for myself than when we lived in the same city. I have ample time to do things that bring me joy and work on bettering myself so I can better our relationship. While you can do this as a traditional couple in the same city, I have found with LDRs, I’m almost forced to spend that time alone in growth, and that little push was exactly what I needed.
While you cannot always immediately change the situation of your long-distance relationship, you can change your mindset. Mindset is everything, so if you struggle with feeling down about your long-distance relationship (I am there too frequently). Try to shift your perspective and focus on what you like about your long-distance relationship; maybe you have more time for a hobby and more time to cultivate your friendships. What has always helped me is every time I see my partner, we make a plan for the next time we can see each other, so there is always an upcoming moment to look forward to. Even if that next time can’t be for over a month, it’s still something to bring you joy, no matter how far away.