Yearning men aren’t anything new. From Mr. Darcy’s brooding stares across the ballroom in Pride and Prejudice to Noah Calhoun’s desperate kiss in the rain in The Notebook, and now Conrad Fisher’s pained silence in The Summer I Turned Pretty, we’ve seen them plastered across books, movies, and television for decades. The only difference now? Audiences aren’t just watching these characters—they’re obsessing over them. In the process, Gen Z is reshaping its expectations for love, masculinity, and what it means to be desired.
A brief history of the “yearning man”
The “Yearning Man” isn’t a new concept; it’s a long-standing archetype, especially in literature. Classic examples include Fitzwilliam Darcy from Pride and Prejudice and his all-consuming longing for Elizabeth Bennet or Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, who embodies a more intense, destructive yearning for Catherine Earnshaw. These characters are appealing because they exhibit vulnerability, emotional openness, and a willingness to invest in relationships — traits that distinguish them from traditional, impassive male characters.
However, when the yearning man first became popular, some critics viewed him as a pathetic, less desirable partner, since longing can sometimes be a way to avoid taking real, vulnerable steps toward love. Feminists have also argued that the trope can carry misogynistic undertones, suggesting a man’s longing entitles him to a woman’s affection. But Gen Z engages differently: they embrace and even desire the yearning man, celebrating emotional depth rather than seeing it as weakness.
Why Gen Z can’t get enough
TikTok, fan edits, and streaming platforms have amplified the obsession with yearning men. Since The Summer I Turned Pretty‘s third season premiered, edits of Conrad Fisher have gone viral. Whether fans are admiring his looks or sympathizing with his heartbreak over being in love with his brother’s girlfriend, the enthusiasm for “Team Conrad” is massive. Noah Calhoun’s iconic rain scene from The Notebook still resonates today, and fans have even drawn parallels between Noah and Conrad—placing Conrad in front of the Cousins’ beach house beside Noah in front of the home he built for Allie. Social media is keeping these characters alive and turning them into aspirational figures of love and masculinity.
As social media spreads the yearning man trend, Gen Z has started expecting grand gestures, deep pining, and emotional vulnerability in their own relationships. Some see this as a high or unrealistic expectation, but it’s also a direct challenge to traditional masculinity, which emphasized stoicism, emotional restraint, and rejecting anything perceived as feminine. Lately, there has been a growing preference for men who are sensitive, expressive, and unafraid to show affection. Gen Z is redefining romance, valuing deep, personal connections over casual flings or hookup culture.
The pitfalls of idealized love
Yearning men in the media have encouraged men to embrace emotional vulnerability, expressing love without fear of judgment — a challenge to toxic masculinity. But these depictions can also create unrealistic expectations. Real partners can’t always deliver cinematic gestures or sustain slow-burning longing. Fans may idealize partners, project unfulfilled needs, or mistake intense anticipation for genuine love. The result? Disappointment and tension when reality fails to match fantasy.
the bottom line
Yearning men aren’t new, but Gen Z’s obsession is reshaping how love looks and feels today. This generation isn’t interested in casual hookups — they want love that’s intense, cinematic, and emotionally rich. The real question is whether that kind of love is sustainable in real life, or if it belongs only in fiction.